ui sandali lang..

"this time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breakin'.."
-Nickelback, from the song How You Remind Me

prom night..

kung ikukumpara last year, medyo pangit yung program this year..pero mas umaatikabo yung sayawan..ung mga 05 kc maxadong intenz..hehe..yun..ngkalabo2 yung program..mas maayos pa nga yung praktis kesa sa mismong prom eh..pero msya pa ren yung early stages..yun nga lang, nilagnat ako..tsk..perfect timing yung pagkakasakit ko noh?pero nakatagal pa nman ako kahit papaano..yun..dinner tym..sarap ng fud..pero dahil sa sakit, d ako nkakain ng maxado..grabe..ang init na nga sa gazebo royale pati ba nman ako mainit..hehe..yun..tas disco tym..puro hapi songs..inintay ko pa nman yung slow songs para mayaya ko na c ano..tas bglang ngkainterruption..iddeclare na kc ung mga nanalo sa prom king, queen, prince, princess at face of the night..after that slow songs na..xempre take advantage na sa pagkakataon diba?kya niyaya ko na xa..kanta: Officially Missing You..o dba..naaalala ko pa..yun..tas sinayaw ko xa ule..last dance..bali yung huling song eh Let the Love Begin.yun..kala ko masaya nako..pero, d pla..tsk..

yun..bale naka13 dances ako..+11 from last year..kya lang nman ako nakarami ngayun kc msya ako nun eh..kaso, pgkatapos ng gabi, ewan..tsk..bat kc ganun?d pa ren nia makalimutan..and2 nman ako..haay..drama ko..kainis kc eh..pero d ko xa masisisi..pareho lang nman kme ng nararamdaman..pareho lang nman kmeng umaasa..kakainis tlga..BAT BA KC HINDI PWEDE??DAHIL BA SA KANYA??haay..yun..bsta ang lungkot tlga..sna kung mababasa mo 2 sagutin mo tanong ko ha?ayun..lalng..

*dramamowd*

hmmm..

"..I'm crazy for you..
touch me once and you know it's true.."
-Madonna, from the song Crazy for you

sTRIKEd

storms and gusts fly my way
breaking, slowing down my stride
i'm not hearing what they say
not consulting what their side

flames and fire burn my flesh
hurting me as i tried
sharp-thought words on my head
creep me down as i cried..

you held me by your hand
you wiped the tear from my eye

flings from lore they disorient
claming that they will fly
shivers rise through the bend
as they all go down to die..

you held me by your hand
you wiped the tear from my eye
you stopped me from shaking
you saved me from my lies

angst part 2

"nobody said it was easy..
it's such a shame for us to part.."
-Coldplay, from the song "The Scientist"


wHERE tO tURN
I am a soldier. When the coast is clear, when the enemy is gone, I pack up my equipment and head back to my post. Even though there is no sight of danger, I should always be on guard. Who knows what danger lurks amidst the deafening silence. I should be well-prepared, lest I encounter an unexpected attack from the opposing side. But what I fear is not the prowling opponent, or the savage animals that roam. It's the cold, unforgiving breeze of loneliness that almost consumed me in a roaring fire-an irony of sorts. Sadness. All my comrades had left me and I had deliberately distanced myself from the General. I regretted everything I have done. I can no longer stand the shivers. I want to come home.

uNEXPECTED sUPPORT
Just as I neared the brink of being swallowed in a portal of self-denial, I suddenly heard laughter. It was an invigorating scenario, as I witness a happy apparition materializing in front of me. My friends. They have come to give me company. To provide support. Yes. I felt the winds have ceased to blow. The sun has risen again. Buts still, there's an empty feeling. A feeling that still haunts my entire self. Though I have the one thing I needed to survive in these grueling battles, I felt that there's a void that only the General coud fill.

(to be continued)

sportsfest blus..

Grabe..nkkapagod tong week na 2..dame nangyare..pero ang saya2..haaay..asteeg talaga..xempre ung pnakamasaya eh nung wednesday, nung nanalo kme sa basketbol for the pers tym in 3 years..kung ikukumpura ung laro nmen nun sa mga laro nmen the past 3 years, makikita mong me timwork..un ung wala samin dati..oo, tama yung kasabihang "there is no 'I' in team"..me teamwork talaga..walang nagcomplain sa limited playing tym..nagrotte din kme ng players..pinuri nga yung rotation ng players namin eh..asteeg..yun..natalo namin edison 68-62..close game nung bandang huli..pero pinatunayan naming malakas kme..wahahahahha..next stop: Einstein..yun..sabi nga ni Ja, diyos yung team nayun..apat ba nman sa kanila eh varsity..tas dalawa dun eh starting members..tsk..pero d kame papatalo..pinangu2nahan kme nang aming star player na c Marc pati ni Ja..cla nga yung nagdala ng opensa ng Fleming eh..steeg..nga pla..nkalimutan kong out of 11 players na nakalaro 8 ang nakascore..asteeg..yan ang teamwork..yun nga lang..ako walang nagawa kahit isang point, assist, rebound block o steal man lang..4 fouls lang..tsk..babad k sa kakadepensa ke Vincent eh..pero worth it nman..me pumuri sa depensa ko sakanya(yeh!)..pero yung highlight ko nung larong yun eh nung nasave ko yung bola..steeg..nagcheer ang mga tao..bwahahahaha..pero ang nagpasaya sakin lalo eh nung malaman ko na kung d ko nasave yung bola eh matatamaan ko c **n*y..steeg..nasave ko ren xa..mwahahahahha..grabe..todo sign of the cross ako kanina..kya tenk yu Lord..hehe..yun..as earlier mentioned, kalaban namin sa lunes ang einstein..yun..finals preview..probably the most anticipated match sa intrams..pero mas gs2 ko kalabanin eh ung Bec..yabang kc ni eljon eh..tambak na nga curie ayaw pa nia palaruin ung teamm8s nia..ngbwakaw pa..yun..out of 69 points naka 50 xa..tsk..kaya pag naglaro ako sa bec, ggwin ko ang lahat para d xa makascore..bwiset..kung pano ko dinepensahan c vincent, x2 depensa ko ke eljon..kahit na wala ako magawa bsta wala xa magawa..kaya eljon, humanda ka..mwahahahaha..yun..

angst part 1

"I tried so hard
and got so far..
bit in the end
it doesn't even matter.."
-Linkin Prak, from the song In the end

A N G S T (pt1)

iNTRODUCTION
I am a soldier, a wandering soldier, whoe sole purpose is to carry out the plans laid on me by my superiors. I am a soldier whose destiny remains a mystery, possesing a personality that no one could expect. Though it looks as if I perform my duties without any complaints, the feeling, the emotions that work with me are contrary to what I show to my peers. Everyday, as I perform my daily activities, I constantly wear a mask of false emotions and fake perceptions. I always show to everyone my faith for my General, but deep inside, I rebel with Him. Though his words and commands are for my own good, I ignore them. Though I know that by submitting myself to His irrevocable guidance, I will be in the right direction, I want to take full contol of my life. With this, I find myself questioning His authority over me. All of a sudden, I'm uneasy following his orders. Yet with my spurrned relationship with Him, I try hard to conceal what is really inside. Though I am doing the right thing, the feelings I posses while being of service is negative, and even that cannot escape His watchful eyes. Though my life has been drastically changed for the better, I still feel something missing.


uNDER fIRE
Not so long ago,I find myself on the brink of losing everything..my life..my passion..my loves..my sanity.. I was merely doing what I was supposed to do. But I am only human, and though I try to please everyone around me, I still manage to hurt someone. All of a sudden, I lost track of my peers. I was all alone. Yet, even in my loneliness, my General never leaves me alone. But, my pride was a hindrance to our intimacy. Yes, my only company and I deliberately avoided Him.
I never felt so alone. As I feel the walls of sadness before me, I find myself surrounded with a roaring fire. With all my knowledge in survival in the battlefield, I find myself in a situatio I cannot handle. As I watch the blazing fury envelop me, I almost didn't notice I was shivering. It was an ironic situation: shivering in a circle of hell flames. No, it wasn't beacuse of the heat, but because of the winds of fear-the fear of being all alone. As I await the demise of my sanity, I heard something from within. All of a sudden, I stopped shaking and the roaring flames were miraculously extinguished.

(to be continued)

"isang tama, sampung mali..
ganyan ako pumili..
di na mababawi..
ng puso ong sawi.."
- Sugarfree, from the song "Hari ng Sablay"


Kasawian..

isa ito sa mga pinakasusuklamang salita sa bokablaryo nating mga noypi..lahattayo ayaw nating maging sawi sa kahit anong larangan..pag sawi ka, xempre malungkot..you feel like a social outcast..nawawala ang kumpiyansa mo sa sarili..pakiramdam mo, galit na sayo ang mundo..lahat ng tao eh nagkaroon na ng kasawian sa buhay..pero, sa lahat ng kasawian, ang pinakapopular ay ang kasaiwan sa..yup, you guessed it..

pagibig..

sa kasawiang ito nagsisimula ang lahat ng kasawian..dahil pag sawi ka sa pagibig, apektado lahat ng aspeto sa iyong katauhan, di lang sa ating pisikal na pangangatawan..kung nasawi tayo sa ibang larangan, nakakabounce-back naman tayo kaagad..pero pag tinamaan na tayo ng tru lab, tas nabulilyaso pa, yun lang..todo depress..sa mundo ng pagibig at pagiibigan lalake ang lugi..sila ang pinakaprone sa pagkabigo sa pagibig..ironically, hindi maxadong prone ang babae sa kasawiang ito pero pag nangyari sa kanila to, para silang namatayan..talagang apektado to the max sila..either way, talagang nakakaasar pag sawi ka sa pagibig..oo nga me mga advantages pagnasawi tayu sa pagibig..halimbawa lalo tayong nagiging malakas at matapang in facing trials and failures..pero, pag tru lab ang tumama sayo, kahit kelan di mo to makakalimutan..siguro pag nagkaasawa ka na pero maaalala't maaalala mo rin yun..totoo yung kasabihang "true love never dies"..

pano mo ba masasabing tru lab na nga ang nararamdaman mo?pag me iniyakan ka na ba tru lab na?of corz no..eh ano ngayon kung iniiyakan mo xa?that does not prove anything..kasi, umiiyak ang tao pag nasaktan cla(in general)..in other words, hindi yung "mahal" mo ang totoo mong iniiyakan kundi sarili mo..oo merong mga taong umiiyak dahil nakasakit cla ng damdamin ng tao pero in general, umiiyak tayo dahil tayo ay nasasaktn..

so ano nga ang basis para sabihing tru lab nga yan?pag handa kang mamatay para sa kanya..pag kaya mong ibigay sa kanya ang buong oras at pagkatao mo..pag kaya mo xang ipagtanggol..pag ganito ang nararamdaman mo tapos ang narinig mo lang sa kanyan ay isang nakakarinding "hinde", ouch..undescribable feeling..parang me tumusok sa puso mo..at that point, your tears unconsciously run down from your face..masakit..pero kahit na nasawi ka pa sa pagibig, that doesn't mean na susuko ka na..pwede mo pa rin xang hintayin..that way matitibag mo yung defenses nia..hanggang sa sagutin ka na nia..but that's not always the case..kaya kahit na mahirap at parang imposible, kelangang mag move-on..

repeat: MOVE ON..

sa mga babae, tama na ang pagiyak..sa tingin nio ba magbabago feelings nia pag iiyakan nio yung mhal nio 24/7?kung tru lab yang nararamdaman nio maiintindihan ko kayo..pero lumingon na ba kayo sa likod nio at nakita ang isang kalunos-lunos na binatang wala nang hinangad na mapanisin mo xa?

sa mga lalake, kung di talaga pwede, tama na..masasaktan lang kayo..oo nga malaking bagay kung maghihintay ka pero kung sobrang tagal ka nang naghihintay pero wala pa rin..tigilan mo na ang kahibangang yan..

it's high time that we outgrow our immature point of view in failing on love to let changes do it's work..

and maybe one of these days..di na tayo sasablay..


(note: wala akong gustong patamaan d2..juz spiking my mind)