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i honestly thought we had a thing going on. but i guess i thought wrong. now i lam left apathetic, indifferent to what's supposed to be. still, i find myself smiling on the simplest reminder of what happened back then, when the stars all had an agreement to sparkle simultaneously. when i found myself seated beside the very person i never thought i'll exert much effort for. the day i met her was no magical moment. she was a minuscule speck in an abominable world, trying to insert herself in the doomed, illogical plane of liberated constraints, while allowing her conservative nature and indomitable faith to guide her across this winding road. she was the wallflower everyone seldom noticed; she found haven in the four corners of her room away from the clutches of the "new people." to others, she was non-existent. to me, there was something wrong. eversince my latest heartbreak, i never attempted to be involved in any romantic bonds while i struggled hard to brush off ideas of one day having a girl of my own. nah, the ladies can wait. i have so much more to prioritize and another mouth to feed is not one of then. but for some reason, there i was stuck in that same four-cornered room listening to her heart's despair. her body was severely weakened by her lack of confidence and determination. she had no motivation to maximize her potential and while her beliefs have kept her alive, her body can no longer withstand any more punishment she herself had visualized. i sat there and like the older brother i never was, i talked to her. and there i was, staring face to face with a suffering soul who desparately needed help. i never wanted to leave that room. i have to let her know that she was not alone in her struggles. and that was the promise.all of a sudden thoughts of romatic endeavors once again entered my mind. this time, the thoughts were hard to batle. in fact, i found interest in it. yes, she was just a friend but i know we had a bond. i confirmed this bond one special night. valentine's day, and i asked her out. suprisingly she obliged. and i had the time of my life, even though 90% of that time were spent sitting down and doing nothing but talk. but hey, that was a good 4-hour talk anyway. and i knew right then and there she had the trust. now what?everything suddenly came to a screeching halt one day via a simple text message. "sorry" was the only word she can say, void of any explanations. all those efforts, those counselling, those happy moments seem to leak away. and it only took a few seconds. but it did left a mountain of confusion that clogged me from the inside. i honestly thought we had a thing going on. but i guess i thought wrong. now i lam left apathetic, indifferent to what's supposed to be. still, i find myself smiling on the simplest reminder of what happened back then, when the stars all had an agreement to sparkle simultaneously. when i found myself seated beside the very person i never thought i'll exert much effort for.
posted by akosialex @ 4:51 AM
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