Secrets to Superb Sex(repost)

NOTE: Remember what I noted in my post titled "Life's Lessons" that I will refrain from posting anymore "obcene" topics? Well guess what..

I lied.

So here it is, the highly controversial article in all its disgusting, immoral, kadiri-to-death glory.

enjoy.


*********

The Philippines.

The year is 2006. The 6th year of the 3rd millenium. An age of cutting-edge and highly innovative technology. An era of non-stereotypes, of unbound ideas, of fluctuating principles; a haven for the enthusiastic youth. And more importantly, a generation void of teenage virgins. Yes, pre-marital sex is the "in" thing nowadays. Everyone is doing it to be "cool" and to look "mature." So if you haven't done it, to paraphrase WWE superstar Carlito, you're "not cool." You're stuck in your hopeless childhood grinding your teeth in envy of your friends who already slept with someone for the nth time. Suddenly, you dump the noble, yet conservative principle of "sex can wait" just to enjoy the pleasure of sex and be among people you look up to for engaging in such act. You get desperate. Feeling the circulation of your hormones going berserk, you flash a meaningful look at the person you are with (who could be your bf/gf if you're fortunate enough). You stare at the same glance you receive from your partner. Then you find yourself in a trance. This is it. Your time is now. Still you are hesitant. What if you screw it up? What if your only chance to "get it on" vanishes into thin air? Or what if for some insane reason you feel this is not right? Ahh, this is where this article comes in, to erase all your doubts and fears, to be successful in bed, “to sex the right way”. If you feel you can't do this, if you are losing your confidence in the face of your partner who looks mighty fine by the way, then read on to unravel the SECRETS TO SUPERB SEX.

*cue villainous music here*

So you find yourself lying in bed with someone of the opposite sex(I hope) and since it's your first time you don't know what to do. As you look at the hazel brown eyes of your lover, keep in mind these simple steps to experience superb sex:

1. Know your role and do what you have to do as efficiently as you can. If you're a man and you have by chance, an "experienced" woman with you, still try to be dominant. Don't let her do all the work. Be in charge. If you're a woman in the midst of a first-timer man like yourself, then give yourself openly. If you feel like your man is lacking on something, then initiate it yourself so that your partner will realize what you want.

2. Don't force the situation. If neither of you does not feel that certain something, then let it be and hope that tomorrow night it will be different.

3. Know your partner's weak spots and go for it. This will result in a reflex that the both of you will enjoy all night(or day, or afternoon) long. And finally;

4. The most important step of all, before doing "it" think for a while. Ponder on what you are about to do. If you are a man, think of what your girlfriend will become after your "session" and you have gone your separate ways. So you don't believe in morality and religion but at least have a compassionate and understanding perspective of your partner. If you are a woman, think of what you're putting yourself into, if you are going to regret the end result of your actions. Yeah sure, you only did it for love but are you sure your partner loves you at all? Find your peace, have a discussion with your bf/gf and weigh the pros and cons. Then if you get married do steps 1-3 as intense as you can.

Yes, sex is one exciting roller coaster ride. The experience is truly exhilarating and one that you may want to do over and over again. But, at the age that we are in, sex is something that we have to wait for until we are old enough to settle down. Because outside marriage, sex is a nightmare that will haunt you in your sleep, even when you get married and until you die. But when in the confines of holy matrimony, sex is a gift, a utopia, a paradise of love that you can share with your partner alone. And that's one of the greatest blessing endowed on us in marriage. So, if you feel left out for not doing "it," then rejoice. At least after the wedding, steps 1-3 can be done with more regularity and less fear, if you and your partner want it.

*cue any of enya's songs here*

[blank]

Just a thought:

The reason loneliness hurts is because it doesn't.

pfftt..

a smile worth a double platinum record

Intro:

I switched on the TV and immediately changed the channel to Myx in hopes of viewing the first ever Myx Music awards (mainly because of the Parokya ni Edgar-Kamikazee collaboration). What caught my sight however was the Cebuano mush band Cueshe accepting their 3rd award of the evening. Well, I have no grudge against Cueshe and their comrade bands as I myself am an afficionado of uber sad love songs. What made me irate was the fact that the essence of music has been castrated by the very people who make and listen to them as Cueshe delivered their words of thank you and everything else. It is difficult to understand why a talented and experienced band like Bamboo did not win the favorite artist award or why the lyrical expertise of Ogie Alcasid did not merit more than 5% votes. Before I gave in to the night I wondered over this travesty until it dawned to me: hey, the winners were determined via text votes. Goodness. This only made me wonder even more. What is the root of this blatant persecution of music, or to be specific, OPM? The problem certainly was not evident back in the early ages of modern music in our country. In their heyday, acts like VST and company, Sharon Cuneta, Maestro Ryan Cayabyab, Juan de la Cruz Band, Freddie Aguilar and many others gave birth to Original Pilipino Music, paving the way for the rise of today's musicians. In the 90's, Regine Velasquez, Lani Misalucha, Kuh Ledesma, ZsaZsa Padilla and Jaya captivated the masses with a devastating combo that ignited the meteoric rise of the world's greatest musicians: catchy tunes and goddess voices. Francis Magalona introduced the rap and hip-hop scene in a nationalistic and entertaining manner. Eraserheads dominated this decade with their amped up music and quite possibly the most influential lyrics in Philippine band history. Even with the E'heads' immense popularity, more talented bands like Rivermaya, South Border and PnE surfaced to continually strengthen OPM. Fast forward to the present. With the new, technologically-enhanced media affecting the airwaves, the regard for quality music has hit an all-time low. The people passed from the talented yet less attractive rockers and embraced bedimpled youngsters in combo struggling hard to hide their inner-Jeremiah.* The hip-hop nation seemed to follow suit to US urbanities by staining their material with vulgarities and ignoring FrancisM's original message. Songstresses and male belters did make their past predecessors proud but the issue of physical apperance did no justice to this problem. Could it be that the great Filipino has lost the musician in him, in favor of eye candy and dare I say, sex? Is the true appreciation of OPM lost forever? As the Myx awards drew to a close, I got to see the anticipated PnE-Kamikazee act and loved it. My only disappointment was the live audience did not seem to share my appreciation for the explosive performance. Let my introduction end by quoting the final lines of "The Ordertaker:"

"T*****g carinderia wala man lang pangmerienda!"



2b continued....



*-a once famous boyband in the 'pines composed of cute guys.

innocence redefined

Lexicon Webster’s defines innocence as the state of being “free from guilt, knowing nothing of evil, naïve or simple-minded, harmless, benign and in a rhetorical sense, devoid.” Such a positive description for a word, which, in the same context as love & hate, connotes several meanings, results in fixing the perception of the majority on innocence as anything but bad. When a young child shatters an expensive jar he doesn’t receive the same punishment a mature child gets for breaking the same jar, since the young child after all doesn’t know what he is doing compared to the mature one. This type of innocence is naïveté. On the other hand conventional innocence speaks of a person proven to be not guilty in a trial accusing him of murder. Through these examples, one can infer that innocence saves you from punishment, criticism and to an extremity, condemnation. This kind of belief is known as the “Pontius Pilate mentality,” derived from the New Testament politician who sentenced Jesus Christ to death. In the Bible, Pilate believed that Christ did no wrong as opposed to the high priests who accused him of blasphemy. Still, in fear of the crowd, Pilate “unwillingly” condemned Jesus, and then washed his hands so as to say to everyone including God that he was not responsible for Jesus’ death. However, after Christ rose from the dead and has sent the apostles to all ends of the world, Pontius Pilate became known all over as the one who put Jesus to death.
What then, does this say about innocence? In this age when the truth can easily be manipulated with a snap of a finger, the last thing you may want to happen is to have yourself proven guilty for a crime you did not (or did) commit. Because of this, people tend to abuse their innocence in more ways than one. You bear witness to secretive drug dealing between two students in your school, but for fear of being involved or for no reason at all, you kept silent thinking that there’s no wrong in being quiet about it; as the weeks ensued, the school found out that half of your classmates have been doing drugs so ALL of them were expelled. You cheated on your mathematics examination yet it was your seatmate (who was the unwary victim of your cheating) who was punished by the faculty; still you persisted you had nothing to do with it so your seatmate was suspended. It was New Year’s Eve and you lit up your fireworks then threw them at a dark corner so as to welcome the new year; when the fireworks exploded everyone heard a scream as an old man got his limbs amputated due to the explosions, still you claim you did no wrong as you did not know there was a person walking on that corner. Yes, these scenes are downright ugly and further abuse of innocence can do things worse than the cited examples. While both wrong naïveté and deception of the “guiltless” can cause serious damage, it is the other kind that’s the most dangerous. This kind of innocence is known the world over as indifference- the feeling of nothing, the sin Pilate committed. If there is something God hates more than committing sin, it’s refusing to do good acts. Had you told the teachers about the drug dealing, then your classmates would have been spared from the expulsion and the effects of drugs. Had you called the police when you saw your neighbor beating up his wife, she wouldn’t have been killed. The danger of being indifferent and “innocent” is that one person is bound to suffer; in the same way the complainant grieves as the suspect is found “not guilty.”
I’m not saying however that innocence leads to evil, as it is up to the person on how he uses it. It is of vital importance therefore that one should not remain indifferent to the needs of others. After all, one man’s innocence is another man’s casualty.

flick flops(pilot episowd)

*In an effort to add flavor to my blog, I have decided to take it up a notch and try concocting some nifty movie reviews for your reading pleasure. This, however is on a trial basis only so you may want to comment if you want me to review more movies,songs, albums etc. Hope you enjoy!*

X-ing out X-men
What exactly is wrong with X-men 3?

Wiping the rotund beads of perspiration off my forehead, I enthusiastically enterMcDo Carpark in all its cool ambiance. I was summoned by a friend to the rendezvous, with the only thing in my mind was to put into action my high-profile plans on how to penetrate the heavily-guarded Frozen Throne. Eventually after my plans horribly failed(due to a sudden collapse in my monetary fund), I ended up in a seat inside one of SM's movie theaters and watch X-men 3: The Last Stand, so might as well enjoy the flick- with or without my once plump wallet.

So, was the final installment of the famed trilogy worth my while?

Uhh, let's go to the whole nook and cranny first(a tough question such as this requires a lot of analysis and discussion you know).

First of all, take a look on where we left off.

Professor Charles Xavier and friends just survived being swallowed by raging waters thanks to Jean Grey's sacrifice. Afterwards, they proceed to the White House for a little chat with the president regarding mutant acceptance(of all issues to tackle). After a few months, the mutant acceptance is all but cemented in the US society with Hank McCoy aka the Beast landing a place in the Department of Mutant Affairs(like duh). Things start to get tasty when the depatment informs Beast that a "cure" for all mutants has been discovered, in the form of a young boy with the ability to rub off all abilities of any mutant who got near him. Trouble arises when the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants(lead by the distinctively dressed Magneto) heard of the cure and decided to kill the boy. What's worse is that Jean Grey, who was found alive at the expense of her lover Scott Summers(SPOILER WARNING!SPOILER WARNING!) developed a second personality intent on destroying everyone who opposes her. With the guys back in Prof X's academy believing that their mutant state is no "disease"(except for one..hint hint), the fate of both mankind and mutantkind now lies in the hands of Logan aka Wolverine and friends against an old enemy and a new yet quite surprising adversary.

Though I only watched the ending of the first two X-men flicks, getting a feel in the story of this one is fairly easy(this could either be a compliment or not) as the ensuing scenes are conspiciously predictable; after all this is a superhero movie. The big flaw however, is the conflict of the storyline and the characters. With too many names having a choke hold on the plot, several characters were "killed" to make room for the new story. Take Mystique for example. The shapeshifting mutant played a significant role in X-men 2, so I figured she will have an equally important impact in "The Last Stand." Unfortunately, she was permanently removed from the storyline shortly after the movie began. The inclusion of new characters, most notably Angel, did not do any justice to this character catastrpohe. In fact, they really did not make any impact the same way Mystique made in X2. The biggest plot problem was Prof X's role , which was drastically cut off(oh no, no more spoilers). The founder of the X-men should've had a longer role than what he had in the flick, eventhough I knew that he'll die anyway in this one(no need for spoilers on something so predictable). AT least he should've been given a much meaningful death(more hints).

"The Last Stand" did score high in special effects. The costumes and mutant appearances are as cool as I can remember(check out Colossus). The fight scenes are also a must-see, eventhough there were not much in the flick. (There's also a scene after the ending credits, which may give us the idea of quite possibly a part four)

While the eye candy was present, X-men 3 failed considerably in the storytelling department thanks to role cutoffs and predictable plots. In fairness to part 3 however, this one is definitely better than parts 1 and 2(since 3 is the only movie among the three that I got to see form start to finish).

So, let's go back to the question we have't answered yet.

Was X-men 3 worth my while?

hmmm..

Let's just say that I didn't have to implement my high-profile plans on how to penetrate the heavily-guarded Frozen Throne just to watch it fail again and again for two hour's time.