sleeper

I can still see it.

That romantic, seconds-long movie about an obnoxious, nerdy-looking high school student in love with a fair damsel, a glamorous angel that is lightyears away from him. It happened 2 years ago, when I found myself in a situation I couldn't understand. Always the loser, never gaining anything after my numerous tries. I tried to be "one of them" but I still end up inside a dumpster containing social rejects, attention cravers and wasted lovers. Yet I still have the audacity to distance myself from the so-called "KSPs" just to have a place with the "astigs." Then there she was, out of the open. I never saw anyone look so enticing, so elegant in a buttoned school blouse and checkered skirt. She didn't have the face that could launch a thousand ships but she did have the aura that sunk a thousand hearts. She has the eyes that captivates anyone that dare look at it. She has what they call "simple beauty" but to her numerous admirers hers is out of this world. Just being close to her make me feel like Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves. Looking at her was a joy to my eyes. It was like looking at the Mona Lisa. But of course, like any inanimate object, she didn't really pay close attention to my frantic admiration. Knowing this, I desperately tried to get her attention, but my efforts are more annoying than touching. As I lie in bed and reminisce I came to the conclusion that the princess I sought after is too high for me to reach. Trying hard won't get me closer and will just complicate things.

Then, as I entered the gates of submission, it happened.

I was just sitting by my lonesome(as always) busy creating an imaginary world of princes and princesses when I saw her comming my way. I didn't know what came to me. The mere sight of her walking to my direction makes me tremble. My heart was like a drum that's being pounded violently. It was like witnessing an aparition. I was busy marvelling on this unexpected wonder that I didn't notice her sit beside me.

Then, in unconditional fashion she kissed me.

She really kissed me.

At that particular moment, I didn't know what to do. I just sat there, immobile but deep inside I was jumping and dancing. I was gping wild. After that wondrous moment she whispered something to me but I didn't give much attention to it. I was too intoxicated with those sweet lips. I wished that time would just stop. But, fate was just cruel to pretenders like me. As I turned around to look at her near-perfect face, everything went dark. Strangely, I saw the ceiling of my room. As I stood up, I was dumbfounded.

I just woke up.

It took me seconds to realize it was all a dream.

I was still in bed, in the wee hours of the morning. I looked around and confirmed that I was in my room. Darn it. Why didn't I think of that? It was too good to be true. The only time and place where she can kiss me is when I'm asleep. In my foolish, fake dreams. I felt stupid. I let myself taken by an image projected by my mind. I felt like a total idiot. No wonder I did so many idiotic sh*t after that.

Months have passed now. And this stage of growing up has ended. I am now about to embark on another phase of my life, totally erasing the painful memories I naturally and deliberately forgot. It no longer bothers me.

Still, I can see that romantic, seconds-long movie being played. It's no longer in my dreams, though. But like any movie, it's still fake.