Cannot find server

Farewell Post(?)

2008-02-23T00:35:00.000-08:00

Beloved patrons, I now have a multipy account.

penplaywizardry.multiply.com..

And yes, my words tasted like chicken.

post-Valentine's err Singles Awareness Day drama

2008-02-17T03:09:00.000-08:00

The chaos has ended.

Couples have kissed, flowers have been given, singles have cried their eyes out, and wallets have been sucked dry. The day every loveless soul dreads has come and gone. It's time to let the rest of the so-called "Love" month slip away in all its mushy grandeur. Time to welcome the summer heat.

But of course, for us lonely boys, letting the remaining days of February (plus the leap year's very own Feb 29) pass by like last year's New Year is one Herculean task; another cold (literally) Singles Awareness Day notched on our bland resumes. No one to hold hands with. No one to share an ice cream cone with. No one to sing songs of unparalleld mushyness to. (okay stop crying Alex, you're a grown man!)

Again, I would like to remind everyone that I am not desperate for a girl's love. Impossible as it may seem, I am actually busy with campus oriented activities (CX baby!). Yet, I definitely am not immune to sadness. And that corrosive sickness got through my constitutions once again last Thursday.

Thankfully, I have began to immerse myself in a lot of things, starting with my joining of Club Xientia, and rejuvenating my Christian faith. Yeah, loneliness may get the better of me at the most unexpected times, but at least I have activities to do to take my mind off these silly bouts of depression.

The chaos has ended. Fortunately I have survived Singles Awareness' unrelenting barrage. There are a few cuts and bruises, yes, but I did come out a clear victor.

And so begins another chaos.

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

2008-02-13T23:57:00.000-08:00

He sighed hard. Realizing that swallowing the toxic fumes of his perfume was indeed ridiculous, he tucked in his shirt, arranged his already over-arranged tie, closed his eyes for a few seconds, then walked away. This is it, he thought. The moment of truth. The way to the wooden door was a long and arduous one, at least for the bludgeoned male. Even more laborious was the very moment he knocked on the door. He hesitated approximately 15 times (approximately because he "semi" hesitated once). His bulky fist was only a figurehead; he knocked with the subtlety of a whiff of fresh air. He knocked again, this time with (barely) increased intensity and (blatantly) increased nervousness. He waited again. And just as he was abut to take his second attempt at knocking, the door swung open. A lumbering, bald, disgruntled 50-something broke through the male's senses.

"Kanina pa siya tulog. Ang tagal mo kasi eh. Ala-una na kaya."

The poor loverboy cringed. At least the "in-law" was kind enough to tell him that. Stupid Nokia phone.

*****

The return of your regularly-scheduled programming

2008-02-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

Trades galore. KG and Allen goes to Beantown. Kyle Korver goes to Salt Lake. Pau Gasol enters Hollywood. Shaq and Marion trade places. NBA TV can't get even more exciting.

Or so I believe.

Freaks, here's my lowdown of the top contenders for each conference.

EAST
1. Boston Celtics
-Need I say more?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ok fine. No question on the C's lineup. Theirs is a team that's as talent-laden as the C's of old (which back in the 80s, had their own Big three, in low-post innovator Kevin Mchale, center extraordinaire Robert Parish and the incomparable Larry Bird). And just when everybody thought that they're only a three-man team, in comes Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins (who is a revelation in my eyes), Tony Allen, Glen Davis, Eddie House and Leon Powe (who now has a game winning layup to boast of. We thank you Leon for sparing the C's from an ultimately embarrassing defeat at the hands of the T'wolves). The first East finals slot is definitely locked in for Boston. There is no other team in the east that can handle their star-studded firepower.

2. Detroit Pistons

-Ok, maybe there is one east team that can handle Boston. Unlike the Spurs , Detroit has invested a lot in their future, signing up college stalwart Rodney Stuckey and UCLA ace Aaron Aflalo. Youngster Jason Maxiel has shown potential, and in 2 years' time, he may have everybody in Motown forget that they once had in their fold the most terrific rebounder/defender this side of Dennis Rodman. And let's not forget their always terrific starting five. Antonio McDyess is phenomenal. Rasheed Wallace is aging but is still the team's heart and soul. Tayshaun Prince is still the unheralded, always snubbed superstar who is perhaps the best non all-star player in NBA history eversince the all-star game was introduced. Richard Hamilton is going to the house jazz built not only as an east reserve but also a competitor in the Foot Locker three-point shootout (yes, that's how good a scorer Rip has become). And Chauncey Billups is as good a point guard as Jason Kidd, Steve Nash and Chris Paul. Just don't be surprised if they end up hoisting Larry O'Brien up for everyone to see.

3. Nada
-The Cavs are too Lebron to be a solid contender, the Magic still has a lot of polishing to do, and err..nothing. Let's just hope that Atlanta's young core wouldn't end up scattered all over the league in the coming seasons.

(2b cont.)

oh sh-- it's back again

2008-02-01T04:40:00.000-08:00

Here it is again.

I thought I banished it a long time ago, but here it is again. And ironically, it's laughing straight at my face.

Loneliness. How much I loath it.

Or is it because Valentine's is just around the corner?

The past two years I have had someone to spend heart's day with, and both times were a blast. And with the way things are going, I will be spending that day without a female patner for the first time in three years.

I'm not at all that desperate for a girlfriend though. It's just that I miss the company of a girlfriend. The way she would just brighten your day with a simple text of "I love you." Or how you would actually refrain from playing DoTA just because you now have a valid reason for not playing DoTA and it's not studying. Or how you would just ligthen up suddenly despite a stressful day consisting of three failed exams just because she smiled, held your hand and said "It's okay, just do better next time." The list goes on and on.

Before I typed this post, I read something. Then, I remembered something. I thought for a while, cringed a bit. Then I began typing this post. And yes, I am talking about someone.

****
Oh, how much I miss you. I really do. Please come back.

My humblest apologies for the emo post.

underneath the cobwebs...the spider waits..until he lunges again

2008-01-14T00:20:00.000-08:00

My beloved patrons, I regret to announce that I may not post anything in my blog in the coming days, at least until this semester ends. There really is nothing much to write about nowadays (since 2008 just began) and as impossible as it may seem, I'm actually busy with a lot of stuff (reading internet articles for further references, studying for random exams, etc.). But there is a glimpse of hope. If one day I find something of considerable interest (coupled with the considerable interest of blogging something), I'd post about it as soon as possible.

Who knows, I'll find that something tomorrow.

***
Oh, yeah. Watch out for my review of Angels and Demons, the 8th non-graphic book I've finshed reading. Hopefully, that'll bring some suspense to your nerves. Ü

ode to 2008

2008-01-01T04:17:00.000-08:00

Memories are what make the past worth remembering.

Dreams are what make the future worth investing for.

And you are what make the present worth living.

Happy New Year everyone.

Isang pagpupugay sa Kulturang Pilipino: Pinoy nga ba si Juan dela Cruz?

2007-12-28T04:45:00.001-08:00

"Gud murneng klasmeyts. May neym is Isagani Katigbak.."

Bago pa man matapos ang pagpapakilala ni Isagani, pinatigil na siya ng nakabubulabog na paghalakhak ng kaniyang mga kaklase. Isang hindi maipaliwanag na ngiti na lamang ang iginanti ni Isagani sa kalupitang ito. Minabuti na lang niyang tapusin kaagad ang pagpapakilala at agad na umupo.

Nakakalungot isipin na ang mga 'katutubong' pangalan tulad ng Bayani, Bakoko, Makisig, atbp. ay itinuturing na 'nakakatawa' sa kabila ng katotohanang ang mga bansag na ito ay hindi hango sa kahit anong salitang banyaga. Balikan natin ang ating mga napagaralan sa HEKASI. Dahil sa hindi maintindihan ng mga Kastila ang mga pangalang ginagamit ng mga Pilipino, ipinagutos ni Gobernador-heneral Claveria na palitan ng lahat ng Pilipino ang mga pangalan nila ng mga pangalang Espanyol tulad ng Maria, Rosita, atbp. at mga apelyidong tulad ng dela Cruz, Reyes, atbp. Maging ang ating pambansang bayani ay nakilala sa laniyang 'banyagang pangalan.' Matapos tayo pagsawaan ng mga Kastila, ipinasa nila tayo sa mga Amerikano, na sa pagtuturo nila ng Ingles, ay nagawa nilang impluwensiyahan pa ang ating mga 'pangalan.' Ang Carlos Miguel ay naging Carl Michael, ang Maria Rosita ay naginng Mary Rose. Hindi naman masyadong pinakialaman ng mga Hapon ang ating mga pangalan, pero malinaw sa paningin ng isang totoong anak ng Pilipinas na nawawala na ang pagkaPilipino sa ating mga pangalan.

Matapos tayong makawala sa gapos ng mga dayuhan, nanumbalik ang kalayaan sa pagpili nating mga Pinoy. Maaari na nating ibalik sa dati ang mga bagay na binago ng mga banyagang mananakop. Pero, pinli natin na huwag nang ibalik sa dati kung anuman ang napalitan, katulad ng ating mga pangalan. Marahil nasanay na tayo sa tagal ng ating pagkakasakop, o hindi kaya natutunan nating magustuhan ang mga itinuro sa atin ng mga dayuhang nabanggit. Sa madaling salita, hindi na nakakagulat ang pandidiri natin sa mga 'katutubong' pananalita. Hindi rin naging maganda ang epekto sa atin ng media sa pagtanggap natin sa sariling atin, dahil sa idinidikta nito kung ano ang 'cool' at kung ano ang hindi.

Matapos ang klase, lumabas si Isagani sa kabila ng pagbubulungan ng mga kaklase. Si John Andrew, si Rossanne Lei, si Annika Louisse, si Ichigo Irumi.. Sa kalooblooban ni Isagani, siya ang natatawa, siya ang humahalakhak. Dapat nga lang naman, nag-aaral sila sa isang paaralan sa Pilipinas.

Reference (Sanggunian ba tagalog ng reference? hehe):
Pangalang Pilipino, from the article Ano Ito? by Luciano Uyan as read on Tempo, December 28, 2007

Random Christmas Cheers

2007-12-24T04:22:00.000-08:00

Here's to everyone who made 2007 worthwhile.

And here's to the Reason for the season.

Season's greetings.

Innocence Misunderstood

2007-12-19T18:07:00.000-08:00

"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected. I was in complete and total shock and so was he."
-Jamie Lynn Spears on her pregnancy, as read on ishtarpish.blogspot.com

Wow. I'm not sure whether Jamie Lynn Spears is just overpoweringly naive or just plain stupid (forgive the cruelty). If it's the former, I'd suggest to Jamie to read my post Innocence Redefined in my blog archives because quite frankly, she has her goody-two-shoes, cutesy charms all mixed up with the realities of life (read: sex). Any action has its respective consequence(s) and a deed as notorious as premarital sex is no exemption and a dastardly good example. Perhaps Jamie did not know that, which is most definitely her fault if that really is the case. Sure, she's only 16 but we cannot (and must not) let her off the hook just because she's still a kid (considering the fact that we are talking about the little sister of the highly controversial Britney Spears). Whatever she was thinking back then (is Britney her childhood hero? Say it ain't so, Jamie Lynn), I can only hope she has learned her lesson.

That stupidity is a very dangerous and inevitably lethal disease.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

My Holiday Wishlist: Yuletide Sentiments

2007-12-15T04:02:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Jiraiya's gone. Reading the latest chapter of the Naruto manga is enough motivation for me to post up this highly sentimental entry. Enjoy.

***
Everyone desires presents, even those who have no penchant for material luxuries like myself. For me, the thought alone will make my holiday. Of course, I do have my so-called wishlist to reference at, but it's not your every-Christmas day wishlist we are accustomed to seeing days before the obligatory Christmas party (not sans the equally obligatory exchange gifts). Ladies and gentlebeings, this is more of a 'miss' list.

I miss the good old days when studying was not at all mandatory and the free time was used to bond with friends, not in study groups.

I miss how Francis, Benzon and myself would just hang out in the wee hours of the morning and talk about Gubound among other things.

I miss how us boys would leave the classroom for luch in gleeful unison, then invade the school cafeteria, and how we left the establishment in a controlled chaos only the F4 boys are capable of.

I miss how Patit would just talk endlessly about how her day began and ended, on how her crush gave her the goosepimples and how the world is so unfair to her.

I miss how Vani would cut some pieces of paper, flavor it with her unique flair and scribble 'Gift ko sa'yo!' on them then give it out to her delighted classmates.

I miss Lovely and I for a fact believe that the world would've been a better place had she stayed here in the Philippines.

This list may or may not be finished. Whatever the case, it would be perfect if eveything on this list will be granted. Hey, my Christmas wishlist has no world peace in it so hopefully, they will all come true.

At least for just one December 25. Or 26. Or 27. Or whatever date Vani & Lovely could come up with.

"Chestnuts roasting on an open..OY YUNG SINAING SUNOG NAAA!!!!!!

2007-12-09T03:09:00.000-08:00

Wooh! Christmas is getting nearer and nearer, as evidenced by the continuous drop in temperature we all have complained about during our nightly escapades (and Lando & friends did no justice to that, too). The carolers have all made their presence felt (at least in LB by the way..for some reason, no caroling can be heard back at home), the Christmas lights are as bright as ever and the melodious songs of Yuletide lore fill the chilly, Christmassy air. Ahh, Christmas. How I hate it.

Hold on, that can't be right. Did I just say I hate Christmas?

Well, not actually hate. You see, this particular Christmas is particularly err, unnerving for me. To put it simply, this year's Christmas pretty much sums up the life I have lived this year: cold, annoying and expensive (and put more emphasis on expensive!). Yeah, I have a knack for being so pessimistic, but hey, it pays to tell the truth sometimes. Gosh, what an unproductive existence.

Of course, I could always count on the next year for some consolation but the fear that 2008 may end up like the previous years looms. Not good for someone who promises to change now then blows 80% of his weekly allowance on DotA later.

So, what can I do? If I get worse every year, is there any hope for me? My personal answer is something unexpected for a lackluster person like myself: Yes, there is.

One day, we won't be able to sing Auld lang Syne. One day, we won't be able to decorate the Christmas tree. One day, everything will just come to a screeching halt.

While the answers to my questions may not be what I would've hoped, I know my shenanigans would end. They are human needs after all.

And on that day, that very day when I would give up DotA for good, I would change for the better.

And hopefully, Christmas would be what it's supposed to be: warm, fuzzy and selfless (that's expensive in a good way!).

APC stands for Alexander P. Castro

2007-12-02T02:08:00.000-08:00

November 29, 2007. The entire nation was again shook up by that one name who never fails to stir up an upheaval, a despearate attempt to unseat President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. Again, Lieutenant Senior Grade Antonio Trillanes gathered his military comrades, marched to another hotel (this time Manila pen), imprisoned himself and his subordiantes in rebellious grandeur and attracted the ire of his fellow countrymen, especially those of the unwary civilians and dedicated (albeit hasty) mediamen who were trapped inside the establishment, forced to referee the battle between the police outside and the military rebels who were just upstairs. And once again, his insurrection against the government ended with the beleaguered senator waving the white flag. Annoyingly enough, he blamed his own countrymen, the same people who voted him to take public office, for his failure saying that they disrespected his endeavors, his actions. Pfft.

And November 29 was suppposed to be "someone's" special day. At least that gargantuan APC did make my day (it rammed itself through Manila Pen's doors for crying out loud).

pang-alis agiw

2007-11-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

I am having those writer's block days again, so be not surprised if you found nothing new at my blogsite. Anyway, just for the fun of it, here's a little ditty.

***
A second was all it took for her to understand what the message meant. It wasn't at all that extravagant; a person of fame would've passed it up as mere junkmail. Yet, here she was staring point-blank at the present inked on a pink stationery, taken away by the sheer force of the letter. Seconds later, the message was rendered nearly unreadable. There were just too many smudges than before.

Fashion Statement

2007-11-08T05:04:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER: Fashionistas hear me out! This post is, by any means, not meant to degrade you in any way. I respect your craft, your interest and I have nothing against it. There's just a few things that I do not understand and your are all welcome to comment and answer my questions.
***

In my 16 (walang kokontra blog ko to!) years of existence, I have come to accept most mysteries as unanswered questions, phenomena which cannot be completely deciphered by science or any other tool. There is one mystery, however, which I haven't accepted as such. And that is the mystery of fashion.

*insert booming thunder sfx here

It has come to my attention that clothing, much like the other two basic needs (food and shelter) has become more than just our primary necessities for our survival. Architecture evolved into some sort of an infrastructural cosmetics while food is now more than just taste and nutrition (just check Iron Chef on cable to see what I mean). Clothing, compared to those two, is obviously more susceptible to this aesthetic overhaul and seeing man's expanding needs list (a list which consists mostly of wants, not real needs), I should just accept that fashion is, was, and will always be a fixture in our society. But why is it that I'm so gosh darn uneasy with a person's keen interest in clothes?

Don't get me wrong, though. I have nothing against people who luurrrvee the most cutting-edge brands in the clothing industry or those who are involved in the fashion world. What I do not understand is how someone could spend several minutes (and there are those who even spend hours) in front of their closet just to choose what they should wear for the day, or how someone could have the tireless feet to enter every clothing stall in a mall just to find the perfect wear. I mean can you just pick the one that suits the [occasion for the] day or buy the first thing that tickles your fancy?

Even more disturbing is the rising popularity of the "mini-skirt and see-through shirts" family. If I am not mistaken, one of clothing's main function is to cover the revealing areas of our body. With that point in mind, how come we see so much of our lady sisters flaunting their supposed-to-be-reserved-for-midwives, doctors, husbands legs on the open road? I could forgive the introduction of tubes and slits as "formal wear"but I cannot forgive their growing presence on public places. It's as if they're giving pervs the go-signal to do something X-rated. Of course, there are those who don these "skimpy" outfits for the sake of expression, and I have known some people who indeed do so.

I know I can't just force my conservative intentions on the increasingly-liberated masses and that they have their own perceptions, their own opinions, as far as clothing is concerned. However, you may want to keep in mind what clothing was supposed to do, with all the artistry aside.

*insert sound of an angry mob of fashionistas trampling their way towards me here

The Greatest Fabrication

2007-11-05T03:35:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah. More love topics (nainspire sa usapan sa tagboard. hehe)

I can still remember the first time. 'Twas the middle of the evening, yet I found myself still wide awake, a picture of a certain someone lodged in my noggin. I had no luck trying to replace that image with anything else; that certain smile incited my brain to produce enough happy hormones to keep me out of slumberville. At that moment, I was convinced. In lab si Alex.

A year later, the image was completely replaced.

I see a lot of teen couples today, engulfed in pure mushyness and goosepimples, holding hands and kissing cheeks (and sometimes lips, necks, etc.) much to the chagrin of the unfortunate, single spectators. And that's just the first-glance observation. What more if you could hear their sweet conversations?

boy: I love you.
girl: I love you more.
boy: I love you even if I didn't love you.
girl: I love you even if that doesn't make any sense.
boy: I love you even if the sun refused to shine.
girl: I love you even if we lived in different times.

Well, you get the picture. In all their sweet nothings, these lovers believe that they are made for each other, that nothing can ever come between them, that their love will last forever.

After a few months (or years) they broke up. Reason?

boy: I'm not happy with the relationship anymore. It's her fault.
girl: This relationship is not right. It's my fault. No, wait. It's his fault.

Yet, in their alone times, you could hear them wail for the wasted moments. You could hear the boy singing Typecast while the girl croons I'll never get over you getting over me.

Their friends, in an attempt to make them feel better (and to stop their annoying drama)told them to go see other people. Unfortunately, they'll reply:

It just won't fill the void.

Eventually they'll forget the debacle and get married with other people(probably). Then when the two meet again, they'll simply exchange smiles, have a small talk perhaps, then bid each other farewell.

Ladies and gentlemen, what is love?

Long description: Love is something that is not meant to be understood nor defined, yet even in its vagueness we know it lasts forever.
Short description: Love is not romance.

***
shet writer's block

quote for the day

2007-10-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

Love is like the air we breath. We don't have to see nor feel it to prove its existence. We know it's there because it keeps us alive.

hanep.

more regularly scheduled programming

2007-10-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. In just a few days, the NBA will launch its 61st season and as always, we basketball fans eagerly anticipate what this basketball year has in store for us. Last season we saw perhaps the greatest upset in NBA history when the Golden State Warriors became just the third 8th-seeded team to outlast a number-one ranked club in the Dallas Mavericks, which bannered that season's best win-loss record, not to mention reigning MVP Dirk Nowitzki. We saw the emergence of a young Chicago Bulls roster which swept 2005-2006 champs the Miami Heat. We saw Lebron James rise up to the challenge and lead the unheralded Cleveland Cavaliers to the NBA finals. And finally we saw Josh Smith's all-star potential (I know Francis wants me to type that. Hehe).

This year's offseason gave us our fair share of oohs and aahs, the most extravagant being the massive personnel change in Boston, with the Big Ticket himself Kevin Garnett and sweet-shooting Ray Allen joining perennial all-star Paul Pierce in the house that Bill Russel built. Let's not forget Kevin Durant, the most hyped rookie in the upcoming season. And of course, we have Kobe Bryant's growing disdain for his current (and I say so because we may see him get traded) team the Los Angeles Lakers well-documented.

So, what can we expect this year? Well, this frustrated analyst have some predictions on what our eyes could feast on. Check these out:

Phoenix' time is now..
Ever since Steve Nash came to the Desert, we have all been waiting for that big moment, when Nash, Stat and the Matrix will finally have their way and hold Larry O'Brien in their arms. Time and again, the dashing-and-slashing Suns continue to defy the odds thrown at them by a familiar basketball proverb: Offense wins games but defense wins championships. So far, that proverb best describes what Phoenix has become, especially after acquiring Nash. This season however, we may see the last three words of that proverb read alot like the first three. The Suns' (already lacking) defense took a turn for the worse when Kurt Thomas was traded to the Sonics. As a counter, they boosted their already formidable offensive force by signing able veteran and multi-time all-star Grant Hill. Truth be told, Phoenix did little to improve their most obvious weakness as far as personnel shuffling is concerned. Yet things (and by that, I mean their championship dreams) look even brighter for the Suns. One good reason is the fact that the biggest obstacle blocking the path to Phoenix' glory, the San Antonio Spurs, remained unchanged and, dare I say, unpolished. While the Spurs are still the same, old championship calibre team that took the championship the previous season, their lack of any major roster improvements did no justice to their same, old lineup. Hey, Tim Duncan's one of the best ever, but he's not getting any younger. Definitely not a good thing for someone who has made a living banging bodies in the low post. That said, we may see a younger, faster and stronger Amare Stoudamire dominate the Big Fundamental and anybody else foolish enough to go toe to toe with Stat. Yeah, Shawn Marion's voiced his unpleasantries for not havong his contract extended, but don't think of that as a disadvantage, especially now that he has an entire basketball year to prove he is worthy of that extension. And of course, there's Steve Nash.

..at the expense of the Boston Celtics
Yes you've read it correctly. I foresee Boston returning to the Finals. And I guess I don't have to expound on this prediction. However, for those who aren't convinced, let me share a brief
analysis on why I say so: No team in the East has the manpower good enough to contend with a team boasting of three future hall of famers who are all in their prime.

Yi's no Yao
Unfortunately, Jianlian may be another Wang ZhiZhi. To his credit, Yi's got the range for someone his size. The problem is, his height as it seems, is only useful to forge mismatches, since he is not that good in rebounding. His thin frame (just 238 lbs compared to his 7'0" stature) adds up to his discrepancies as a forward, limiting his low post efficacy. Of course, he has Andrew Bogut to cover him up inside. But if Yi wants to enjoy the same success Yao has had, I suggest that he beef up, add a few pounds of muscle, lest he gets eaten alive by the rugged, bruising style of frontline play.

Durant's all that
Speaking of thin frames, this year's Lebron James (in terms of preseason hype mind you that) may be too light to be a 3, and that being underweight may prove to be disadvantageous for the young stud but we can't just dismiss his apparent talent. Many basketball personalties have nothing but praises for Durant, and his numerous awards during his NCAA stint simply piled up his stock as a future NBA Superstar. Besides, being a 2-guard would only make Durant alll he more threatening. His length easily makes him one of the tallest SGs today (stands at 6'9" with a wingspan of 7'4"), an obvious mismatch which will definitely be exploited by the Seatle Supersonics, the team that drafted the rookie. Bottomline: Durant's the Rookie of the Year.

Kobe Bryant: To trade or not to trade
Kobe's not happy. Phil Jackson's getting tired of his star player. The rest of the Lakers? Well, let's just say the Kobe issue redefined the idiom adding insult to injury. Such an unfortunate situation for a young lineup which has tons of potential. The Lakers roster actually constitutes of very talented youngsters, like Lamar Odom, Andrew Bynum and Luke Walton. Plus the fact that the Zen Master has an uncanny ability to unlock the full potential of a player (just ask MJ, Scottie, Toni Kukoc, Steve Kerr, Chris Mihm, Kwame Brown and Bynum). I guess hardiness is the issue here. Or is it Kobe? Or both?

The Baby Bulls are all grown up
Their sweep of the Miami Heat was a statement. The Bulls have made their intentions clear. And Scot Skiles added Joakim Noah and veteran Joe Smith, among others, to the mix. Yes, Chicago has a lot of big boys. Big, young boys to be exact. And in my view, that speaks a lot of Chicago's future. Luol Deng has become the King Bull, es evidenced by his stellar performance last postseason. The backcourt tandem of Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordon is without a doubt one of the best, if not the best, guard combinations in the league today. Andres Nocioni is as fiery as ever. Tyrus Thomas is on the rise to become the next Shawn kemp. And Ben Wallace is..simply being Ben Wallace. Damn, the Bulls are good. (Hey MJ, here's to you)

More to come, if I'll be able to think of more.

and when you least expect it, happiness comes strolling along

2007-10-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

Gosh.

Fine.

Maybe life's not that unfair.

And those wasted seconds? Maybe they weren't for naught afterall.

Hahaha. Sensya writer's block.

***
Well, what do you know. Polaris is not the brightest star after all.
***

memoirs of a super adik

2007-10-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Well. Okay. I believe it's my fault it has come to this. Hehe.

Currently, I'm listening to (a choppy version of) Wasting my time by Default.

Shet soundtrack ng buhay kez.

Sigh.

My life is composed mainly of wasted seconds.

Hala sige magdrama ka pa Alex.

***
I never thought Polaris could get any brighter.
***

Conspiracy or Reintegration? You decide!!

2007-10-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

"Rumors of conspiracy to doom chances of Filipino players started to circulate even before the tournament started. Six marquee players from the country were bunched on the same group namely Efren 'Bata' Reyes, Francisco 'Django' Bustamante, Jose 'Amang' Parica, Lee Van Corteza, Warren Kiamco and [Ronnie] Alcano."
Source, Tempo, Alcano's historic bid dashed, 22 October, 2007

It was a day of dread for Filipinos everywhere, especially for those in the billiards circuit.

Ronnie Alcano succumbed to consecutive bad breaks, leaving his opponent Shane Van Boening, who seemed to have Ronnie's number, to feed off the untouched leftovers and score a 13-10 victory, clinching the 32nd US Open 9-ball crown and derailing the Pinoy's hopes of achieving history in becoming the first person to win the World Pool Championships, World 8-ball Championships and the previously mentioned tourney at the same season.

While bad breaks are a fixture in a sport of skill and luck, Alcano's dry spells were all the more suspicious, as he was unable to pocket a single ball for six turns, certainly unexpected for someone who thoroughly decimated every player he faced prior to te finals (except for, coincindentally, Van Boening).

Talks of match-fixing connived by the hometown refs loomed among [Pinoy] pool advocates, as it is ultimately unlikely for someone of Alcano's calibre to miss consecutive shots, considering the fact that his victories in the tourney constituted of convincing routs.

Hmm. All the more reason to believe that the powers that be of international pool are doing their darn best to inhibit the Filipino's success in a sport that has been relagated to a social pastime, a tambay's game if you will, in our country.

Translation: 'Di yata't dinadaya na tayo ng buong mundo.

Or is it really, pandaraya?

The worldwide supremacy of our countrymen in pool is well-documented, thanks mainly to hall of famer 'Bata,' whose unwaivering dominance over the billiards table paved the way for more Filipino cuemasters to come out of their shells and strut their wares on the international stage. With more of our kababayans making their presence felt with the cue ball, it's safe to assume that pool has become Juan de la Cruz' sport, much like Uncle Sam's basketball.

While we continually brag about our country's vice grip on the sport, the powers that be of international pool are left to witness the Pinoy horde, relentlessly trampling their unwary foes. Perhaps the world is seeing too much red, white, blue and yellow. And that familiar toothless smile. Too much that the powers that be had to do something about it.

Bottomline: If I were to organize a pool tournament, I'd group as much Filipinos as I could in the same bracket and have them face each other as early as possible because there is too much talent among our Filipino cuemasters that the world can't handle. Case in point- despite the fact that six of our country's best players were pitted in the same bracket and consequently were forced to eliminate each other in the early parts of the US Open, a Filipino was still able to reach the finals and nearly walked away with 50 grand.

In the meantime, I'll give the referees who racked up the balls during the US Open finals the benefit of the doubt. Right now, let's give it to the Rest of the World for beating the proud Pinoys this time. We are going to win the war anyway.

tattered notes

2007-10-15T05:51:00.000-07:00

Ethan strutted along the ivory lining, his propriety exceedingly evident across the bloodshut room. Perhaps the bright lights dimmed too much what the naked sight could see, yet the young sentinel couldn't care less. The gallant whispers made their way through the otherwise stoic demeanor emanated by his presence. 'What a watse,' mumbled Ethan, as he shrugged off the anointing remarks. He knew too much.

***

An Open Letter

2007-10-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hey.

I just want to let you know that I'm doing fine, supposing that you are interested at all about my well-being. The past weeks have been strange, and while things may have stayed normal as they are, something inside me dictates otherwise. Perhaps there really is nothing to be upset at, yet I find myself disturbed in awkward sadness. I tried to look as far as the naked eye can see, but I am not contented with the superficial. Simply put, I just want to know thw truth. If, inside that heart of yours, there exist some appreciation and concern for me.

Shinigami Sadfair

2007-10-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

Stephie gulped the contents of the one-and-a-half inch tall glass, much to the delight of the crowd seated beside her. What seemed to be an eternity of careful consideration was relegated to a nano-second of hesitation, as she downed the last of the alcoholic beverage. A loud cheer then erupted before her, nearly flooring her already drowsy body right smack onto the tiled floor.

"Wooh Steph! Isa pa!! Isa pa!!"

Stephie knew she only had one shot yet the beverage has manifested its effects on her rookie constitutions, something she expected and regretted. She knew she couldn't afford to down one more but the situation wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Wooh!! Idol!"

The second round caused swirls and twisters around the poor, peer-pressured lady's line of sight. An uneasy, disgusting feeling began to creep from her stomach towards her throat. A sudden redness made its presence felt on her snow-white complexion.

"Ano Steph kaya pa?"

Stephie felt the need to stand up. The swirls and twisters have made their way inside her gastrointestinal system, inciting that unesay, disgusting feeling even more. No good. Standing still only provided minimal comfort. She had to move. She had to dance. The music, the lights, the constant cheering paved the way.

"Wooh! Ang sexy mo Steph!" Stephie glided through the tiled floor like the northern winds blowing subtly over the old blue. She took off her jacket, revealing a pink, skimpy tube concealing the last line of her femininity's defense. The hip-hop melody played well with her hips laced with a flavorful pair of denim. Her long, jet black hair swayed over the club's horizon, as stares of unimaginable admiration and lust inserted themselves through the clueless virgin's inviting movements.

"Stephie tama na yan."

A familiar face entered the dance floor, impaling the intoxicated Stephie back to her senses. The swirls and twisters abruptly ended, her eyes wide in shock. Replacing the carnal stares were eyes of intrigue.

"Tama na yan umuwi na tayo."

The formally-attired, well-combed male spoke, his remarks greeted by unconsolidated jeers by the drunken patrons.

"Hoy kj! Umalis ka nga't di ka kailangan ni Stephie dito!"

The screams inaudibly disnintegrated in the booming music, yet they were loud enough for Stephie to hear. She wanted to dance some more, but the figure in front of her had this strange, invoking grip on her appendages. All of a sudden, shame enveloped Stephie's perception.

"Jeff, I..I.."

The swirls and twisters again reared their ugly heads. And Jeff was at the receiving end of it all.

"Ewww kadiri!!!"

**************
end of prologue
**************

Halftime muna

2007-10-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

1.What do you think abt ur 2nd featured
friend?
- Magkamukha na sila ng primary pic niya sa Friendster. Haha.

2.Do u like ur 1st featured friend?
- I do not like him. I lurrvveee him. Yak.

3.How is ur relationship wif ur
5th featured friend?
- Hindi ko pa xa nakikita ule. Busy siya eh. Haha. Sana pumunta siya sa burdei ko.

4.Are u chatting wid any of ur featured
frens rite now?
- no.

5.Is ur 3rd featured friend close to u?
- Ok naman. Nagaway kami niyan nung huli naming pagkikita eh. Ganyan kami ka close.

6.How many of ur featured frens are in
the same school as u?
- Nung hayskul lahat. Ngayon, si Nel lang.

7.If u were to choose 1 of ur featured
frens to be ur gf/bf..Who?
- Si Francis. Halavshuu

8.When was the last time u went out wid
any of them?
- Last last week?

9.Among them..Who did u last talked to?
- Yung second.

10.Who are ur featured frens?
- Benzon, Francis, Jos, Nel, Louie, Lovely(only thorn among the roses. Haha)

11.If u were to talk bad abt sum1 on
your featured friend list. Who will it
be?
- Si Benzon. Hahahahahahha.

12.Who knows you best among them?
- At the moment, si Lovely ata. Haha.

13.Have you ever met any of
the featured friends parents before?
- Except yung kay Louie.

14.Who is the last featured friend to
you?
- Labli!

15.Who is the most special among them?
- Sige na nga si Labli na lang kasi a.) siya lang ang babae at b.) nasa UK naman siya. Hahaha.

16. How old are you when you 1st
met them?
- Can't remember.

17. Do you hang-out with all of them?
- Except with Lovely. Asa naman unless ilibre nia ako ticket papuntang Staford. Hahaha.

Face Down by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

2007-09-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.
Cover up with makeup in the mirror
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say you're right again
heed my lecture
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt, she said,
"This doesn't hurt", she said,
"I finally had enough."[x2]
One day she will tell you that she has had enough
it's coming round again.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.[x2]
Face down in the dirt, she said,
"This doesn't hurt", she said,
"I finally had enough."
***

Nakakatuwa yung lyrics, especially the ones in bold. Brings me back to my forgotten days of lovelorn with a certain girl named jenny. Hahaha. Shaddap Francis, Benzon and Lovely. Wahahahahahahaha.

Sunday Morning Post

2007-09-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

Love.

Oh sweet love. Everyone wants it. Poems and songs are patterned to imitate it. Valentine's was created for it. Movies, TV shows, stories tried to interpret it. Yet love remains elusive, at least elusive enough to remain away from one's understanding, in similar fashion a butterfly hovers near gleeful watchers but far enough from one's intention to capture it. We all want to understand this most mysterious thing. Even science stepped into the picture, using "crude" attempts such as psychology and biology to define what love is. In the midst of technology and the liberal arts, with a shallow touch of tradition, the enigma of love stood, untouched and misunderstood- as always.

In hopes of comprehending what love is, people came up with a vast collection of terms, just to explain this "queasy yet enjoyable feeling." In came romance, infatuation, fate & destiny, and the inevitable true love. Quotes, mottos, idioms were written to support these fabrications and surprisingly enough, the majority actually believed all these. Theories were formulated, ideas were conceived, and fairy tales were confused with facts. All of a sudden, the world has become one, big love story, a teleserye bound to incite goosebumps on the hopeless romantics all around.

Such hallucinations may benefit a world ravaged by the twists and turns of an evolving society, a new opium to which men can turn to in times of depression. Of course, like any other drug, an overdose of "love" has its own life-altering, mind-boggling effects, effects which can worsen the problems already established by the pangs of reality. Perhaps the media has influenced us way too much that we can no loger distinguish fact from fiction. Or we crave too much for that "queasy yet enjoyable feeling" to the point of addiction and dependecy.

Ok, the above paragraph may be exaggerated, but I assure you the exaggerations were limited to a minimum. We all want love in our lives, for it is the only thing we can turn to, the one side that will never betray us. To survive in a shackled existence, we have to cling on to the sturdiest foundation we can think of. There is a risk to depending on intangibles however, the most familiar being the state of delusion in which we look for facets of fiction in our way of living. This may not be as intense or as relevant as political conflicts, celebrity fist fights or small/large scale wars but it does greatly affect a person's perception. Since no two people have the same perceptional makeup, this leads to varying (and dare I say, adverse) intrapersonal and interpersonal effects. As a result, we have political conflicts, celebrity fist fights and small/large scale wars. All because we wanted to define love.

Unfortunately (and obviously), we can't force oursleves to dump our misguided concepts of love. The best thing we can do is to remain aware and bound to the ground, with the knowledge that love is not meant to be measured, comprehended nor understood.

Innocence Redefined (repost)

2007-09-29T03:26:00.001-07:00

Writer's block. Go figure. Engoy nostalgia.
*****

Lexicon Webster’s defines innocence as the state of being “free from guilt, knowing nothing of evil, naïve or simple-minded, harmless, benign and in a rhetorical sense, devoid.” Such a positive description for a word, which, in the same context as love & hate, connotes several meanings, results in fixing the perception of the majority on innocence as anything but bad. When a young child shatters an expensive jar he doesn’t receive the same punishment a mature child gets for breaking the same jar, since the young child after all doesn’t know what he is doing compared to the mature one. This type of innocence is naïveté. On the other hand conventional innocence speaks of a person proven to be not guilty in a trial accusing him of murder. Through these examples, one can infer that innocence saves you from punishment, criticism and to an extremity, condemnation. This kind of belief is known as the “Pontius Pilate mentality,” derived from the New Testament politician who sentenced Jesus Christ to death. In the Bible, Pilate believed that Christ did no wrong as opposed to the high priests who accused him of blasphemy. Still, in fear of the crowd, Pilate “unwillingly” condemned Jesus, and then washed his hands so as to say to everyone including God that he was not responsible for Jesus’ death. However, after Christ rose from the dead and has sent the apostles to all ends of the world, Pontius Pilate became known all over as the one who put Jesus to death.What then, does this say about innocence? In this age when the truth can easily be manipulated with a snap of a finger, the last thing you may want to happen is to have yourself proven guilty for a crime you did not (or did) commit. Because of this, people tend to abuse their innocence in more ways than one. You bear witness to secretive drug dealing between two students in your school, but for fear of being involved or for no reason at all, you kept silent thinking that there’s no wrong in being quiet about it; as the weeks ensued, the school found out that half of your classmates have been doing drugs so ALL of them were expelled. You cheated on your mathematics examination yet it was your seatmate (who was the unwary victim of your cheating) who was punished by the faculty; still you persisted you had nothing to do with it so your seatmate was suspended. It was New Year’s Eve and you lit up your fireworks then threw them at a dark corner so as to welcome the new year; when the fireworks exploded everyone heard a scream as an old man got his limbs amputated due to the explosions, still you claim you did no wrong as you did not know there was a person walking on that corner. Yes, these scenes are downright ugly and further abuse of innocence can do things worse than the cited examples. While both wrong naïveté and deception of the “guiltless” can cause serious damage, it is the other kind that’s the most dangerous. This kind of innocence is known the world over as indifference- the feeling of nothing, the sin Pilate committed. If there is something God hates more than committing sin, it’s refusing to do good acts. Had you told the teachers about the drug dealing, then your classmates would have been spared from the expulsion and the effects of drugs. Had you called the police when you saw your neighbor beating up his wife, she wouldn’t have been killed. The danger of being indifferent and “innocent” is that one person is bound to suffer; in the same way the complainant grieves as the suspect is found “not guilty.”I’m not saying however that innocence leads to evil, as it is up to the person on how he uses it. It is of vital importance therefore that one should not remain indifferent to the needs of others. After all, one man’s innocence is another man’s casualty.

women

2007-09-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

WARNING: Anti-femminist thougts ahead. Well, not quite. But I believe femme-fatales may find the following post as offensive and highly atrocious. So, kudos to them. hehe.

****

Women. No word can aptly define these mysterious figures. Yet, we men (note the homophone) find ourselves stuggling hard to have one of these in our possession, and eventually falling for them. Throughout history, we saw these "2nd-class citizens" contribute to the downfall of the greatest men to have ever lived. In the Bible, we saw the first man Adam fall out of grace when Eve partook of the forbidden fruit. Later in the Old Testament, Samson was stripped of his strength by Delilah, the same woman he divulged his secret to. Then, there were Julius Ceasar, Napoleon Bonaparte, and our very own Ferdinand Marcos whose downfall were brought by their female counterparts. These examples, as few as it may be, are practically enough to dismiss women as nothing more but dead weights that would drown men into the depths of the proverbial ocean. Still, these dead weights seem precious enough for men to kill for.

They say behind every great man is a woman. True enough, the names I have mentioned above indeed had a woman to call their own. Perhaps, these females had the face that can launch a thousand ships or the body that can cower even the most steadfast of soldiers or the resources that can buy the entire planet. Whatever the case, Julius fell for Cleopatra, Napoleon stumbled for Joesephine then Marie Louise, and Ferdie flinched for Imelda.

On the sea, it is foolish to bring along objects of considerable weight, lest we sink to our agonizing demise. But, what exactly eggs us to bring them anyway? We can say anything we want to say of the opposite sex but the fact remains; if we don't want them in our lives, we should have settled for those of the same sex. Whatever that x-factor is, men always fall head over heels for women. and when they do, no tomorrow exists.

In the beginning, there was only Adam. In his solitude, God took a rib from the first man and created Eve. And Adam became happy.

I guess present happiness is way better that future consequences. And on that proverbial ocean, more men come with anvils tied to their waists instead of multi-colored salbabidas.

Lab Hearts 2

2007-09-15T19:44:00.001-07:00

Napailing si Rommel sa narinig.

Ang kaniyang kaibigan ay nagawang ilahad ang naguumapaw na pagibig ng walang pasubali. Pero heto siya, nanginginig at tulala. Ni hindi man lang niya magawang magsalita para man lang kamustahin ang babaeng pinapangarap niyang makasama. Gusto niyang maniwala na sapat na ang malagkit niyang pagtitig pero sa kaibuturan ng kaniyang puso, gusto niyang lapitan siya at yakapin ng mahigpit. Pero hindi niya magawa. At hindi niya alam kung bakit.

Isa si Rommel sa “elders” ng barkada. Palibhasa, graduating na siya sa susunod na semester at 2 units na lamang ang kailangan niyang asikasuhin pa. Kung tutuusin, isa na lang ang rason niya kung bakit pa siya nananatili sa unibersidad; iyon ay upang tulungan ang mga kaibigan na nagaaral pa. Taliwas sa kinagisnang buhay ni Elise, laki sa hirap si Rommel. Sa katunayan, kung hindi lang sa problema ng kaniyang pamilya sa pera, noong isang taon pa dapat nakapagtapos si Rommel. Sa kabila ng mga pagsubok na pinagdaanan niya, nanatiling matatag si Rommel. Hindi niya tinuturing na balakid ang mga problemang ito. Ginagamit niya ang mga ito bilang motibasyon para lalo pang pagbutihin ang kaniyang mga ginagawa. Ni minsan ay hindi sumuko si Rommel, isang paguugali na labis na hinangaan ng barkada. Iyon ay kung alam lang nila ang pinakamalaking suliranin na kinakaharap ni Rommel sa ngayon.

Ang buhay pagibig ni “kuya” Rommel ay hindi kasing kulay ng kaniyang buhay pagaaral. Isang beses pa lamang siya nagkakaroon ng nboya at iyon ay noong high school pa lamang siya. Dahil sa kaniyang pagpupursige sa academics, hindi na siya nagkaroon ng oras para romansa. Pero, simula nang makita niya ang kaniyang mga mata, muling tumibok ang animo’y patay nang puso ni Rommel. Nasa ikalawang taon siya noon nang mapasama siya sa barkada. Doon na rin niya nakita ang babaeng pinapangarap niya. Sa unang pagkakataon, naranasan niya ang totoong buhay ng isang collge student: isang buhay na walang permanenteng priority. Nakita niya ang sarili na nagbabasa habang kumakain ng fries sa Mcdo kasama ang barkada habang nakikipagbonding sa babaeng kinahuhumalingan niya. Naging maayos naman ang time allotment ni Rommel. Isa lang ang hindi ayos. Ang patutunguhan ng relasyon nila ng kaniyang minamahal.

Sa loob ng apat na taon, nakuntento si Rommel sa mga simpleng kwentuhan, habang ang kaniyang mga kaibigan ay may mga kayakap na. Hindi naman naasiwa si Rommel. Alam niyang mas kailangan pang pagtuunan ng pansin ang kaniyang mga grado. Pero sa kalooblooban ng kaniyang kaisipan, gusto na niya halikan siya. Madalas sumagi sa isipan ni Rommel ang malambot niyang labi, ang kaniyang balingkinitang katawan, ang kaniyang mahabang buhok, ang mga matang bumihag sa kaniya puso. Ayaw man aminin ni Rommel ang katotohanan, isinisigaw naman ng kaniyang damdamin ang isang pangalan.

Hindi na makapagpigil si Rommel. Kailangan na niyang gumawa ng aksiyon. Hindi siya dapat manahimik habangbuhay. Kung hindi siya gagawa ng paraan, wala siyang mapapala. Sa kadiliman, nagisip si Rommel ng gagawin. Nagplano ng matagal. Nagbasa ng mga libro. Humingi ng payo sa mga “awtoridad ng pagibig.” Sa kaniyang pag-iisa, isang maingay na tunog ang gumambala sa kaniya.

Ten-ten! Ten-ten!

“Dali Rommel pumunta ka na ditto! May problema!”

Isang malakas na alon ang humampas sa mga naglalakihang bato. Kailangan siya ng barkada. Pero dapat niya munang tapusin ang nasimulan. Wala siyang papel na nakita. Kailangang magimprovise.

Agad siyang umalis. At isang kagimbal-gimbal na pangyayari ang tumambad sa kaniyang paningin. Ayaw na niyang pakinggan ang mga salitang lumabas pero hindi ito pinalampas ng kaniyang mga tainga.

“What I’m trying to say is that, I truly, honestly, love you.”

Nagulat si Elise sa narinig. Hindi niya inakalang maririnig niya ang mga katagang iyon sa isang kaibigan. All this time, nakatago ang tunay na nararamdaman para sa kaniya ng taong nakaluhod sa kaniyang harapan.

“I’m sorry. I’m very sorry.”

Dagling tumakbo palayo si Elise. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin, kung paano mag re-react. Sa kaniyang pagkaripas, naiwan sa alabok ang isang sugatang puso. Napailing si Rommel sa narinig. Mas lalo pa siyang napailing nang hindi niya makapa sa bulsa ang papel na nagtatago ng kaniyang mensahe. Wala na siyang magagawa kundi ang titigan ang kaniyang babaeng pinapangarap. Ang babaeng tinakbuhan ng kaniyang pangarap.

Muling Napailing si Rommel.

2007-09-12T02:05:00.000-07:00

kung wala ka nang maintindihan
kung wala ka nang makapitan
kapit ka sa akin, kumapit ka sa akin
hindi kita bibitawan...

hindi kita pababayaan...

pramis..

******
Watch out for Lab Hearts II coming soon!

Lab Hearts

2007-09-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

“What I’m trying to say is that, I truly, honestly, love you.”

Nagulat si Elise sa narinig. Hindi niya inakalang maririnig niya ang mga katagang iyon sa isang kaibigan. All this time, nakatago ang tunay na nararamdaman para sa kaniya ng taong nakaluhod sa kaniyang harapan.

“I’m sorry. I’m very sorry.”

Dagling tumakbo palayo si Elise. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin, kung paano mag re-react. Hindi na siya lumingon. At wala na rin siyang balak na pumunta sa lakad ng barkada sa gabing iyon.

Humihingal si Elise. Nakita na lamang niya ang sarili sa isang pamilyar na lugar. Ang tambayan. Umupo siya sa nakasanayang upuan, isang mahabang bench na malapit sa puno ng niyog. Naisip niyang magpalipas oras muna. Maraming mga bagay ang nangyari ngayong araw. Tapos dumagdag pa siya. Napaisip si Elise. Bakit nangyayari sa akin to? Bakit nangyayari sa akin to? Bakit nangyayari sa akin to? Tila walang kawala si Elise. Hindi niya nagawang pumiglas sa mga kadenang nakapulupot sa kaniya. Isang luha ang tumulo. At isa pa. At isa pa. Hanggang sa tuluyan nang bumuhos ang ulan ng kaniyang pagdadalamhati. Hindi na niya kaya pa ang lahat ng ito.

Ten-Ten! Ten-Ten!

May nag-text. Aba, tulad ng inaasahan. Siya nga.

“Elise, I’m really sorry if what I’ve said offended you in anyway. It’s just that, I couldn’t contain my true feelings for you any longer. Sawang-sawa na ako magtiis at maghintay. Hindi mo lang alam kung gaano kahirap ang dinadanas ko habang kasama kita’t hindi ko man lang masabi sa’yo kung gaano kita kamahal. Please, allow me to explain myself. Sana maintindihan mo ako. Bumalik ka na dito please.”

Patlang. Isang malumanay na hikbi ang bumasag sa katahimikan ng dalampasigan. Wala siyang maisip na paraan para maayos ang mga gulong kinakaharap niya ngayon. Heto ang perennial dean’s lister, nakaupo, umiiyak, at walang magawa. Narealize niya na walang maipapayo si Leithold, si Petrucci o kung sino man sa kaniya. Maging ang mga differential equations at theory of relativity walang magagawa sa problemang kinakaharap niya. Oo nga’t maaasahan ang barkada’t hindi lang siya ang miyembro nito, pero alam na rin niya ang sasabihin ng mga ito. Huwag mo nang isipin iyon.

Katangahan. Bakit nga ba iyon ang lagging pinapayo ng mga kaibigan sa’yo? Hindi ba nila naisip na imposibleng hindi isipin ang isang bagay na bumabagabag sa iyo kasi kung ganoon lang kadaling gawin iyon ay bakit pa nga ba ako namomorblema ng ganito? Tuluyan nang nawala sa kailaliman ng dagat ang dating rationalistic na si Elise. At least nalaman niyang tao lang din siya na natitibag ng mga “mabababaw” na bagay tulad ng pagibig. Pesteng pagibig iyan, sambit ni Elise.

Napatingin siya sa lumulubog na araw. Walang duda, Siya na lamang ang makakatulong sa kaniya. Ipinikit ni Elise ang mga mata, taimtim na nanahimik at nagdasal. Lord, tulungan Niyo po ako. Hindi ko na kaya pa ang mga nangyayari. Sobrang nalulungkot ako. Ano ang gagawin ko? Please Lord, help me. Give me a sign.

Inimulat na ni Elise ang mga mata. Tinignan ang environment. Tama ang religious friend niya na si Harold. Hindi maganda na magdasal para lang humingi ng sign. Sa kaniyang pagkasadlak sa kalungkutan, napayuko na lamang si Elise. At sa kaniyang paanan, may nakita siyang 1000 peso bill. Deadma lang si Elise. Laki sa isang masaganang buhay ang dalaga kaya’t wala lang sa kaniya kung makapulot siya ng ganong kalaking halaga. Barya lang iyon sa kaniya kumbaga. Kawawa naman siguro yung nakawala nito. 1k din ito. Pinulot ni Elise ang bill. At sa segundo na hawakan niya ang kuwarta, muli siyang napaisip. Teka, sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, at sa obvious na halaga ng 1000 pesos, napakaunlikely na may makawala ng ganito kalaking halaga nang ganoon lang. Siguro kung kapareho ko ng estado ang nakawala-

Napatigil si Elise. Katangahan nga na mawalan ka ng 1000 pesos dahil nalaglag ito sa bulsa mo pero wala lang naman kay Elise kung mangyari ito dahil may ATM naman siya at credit cards. Isa pa, ano nga ba ang 1000 pesos laban sa halaga ng mga bagay na nagpapasaya sa kaniya. Muling napaisip si Elise. Tao lang siya na nasasaktan, na nalulungot, na umiibig. Hindi siya naiiba sa marami. May karapatan siyang magtampo at umiyak. Pero may karapatan nga ba siyang magalit habangbuhay o manisi ng walang humpay sa kaninoman? Walang taong perpekto. Maari tayong mainis at maasar sa kanila pero mayroon din silang rason para gawin ang mga ginawa nila. Kaya basically, walang pwedeng sisihin. Muling napatunayan ni Elise na tama si Harold. Napakabait nga talaga ni Lord. Gamit ang panyo, pinunas na ni Elise ang mukha, inayos ang sarili, nagtext sandali at umalis na.

Sinalubong siya ng barkada.

“Elise okay ka lang?”

“Kanina ka pa naming iniintay..”

“Magusap mo muna kayo bago tayo umalis.”

“Sna magkaayos kayo. Dapat walang magkaaway sa barkada.”

Alam na ni Elise ang gagawin. Matapang na siya. Marami pang problema ang gumagambala at gagambala sa kanya pero walang mangyayari kung pagsasabayin niya ang lahat ng ito. Dapat, one at a time.

“O sige Erika, I want to hear your explanation,” sabi ni Elise.

aww sheeet

2007-09-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

Paano sasabihin sa iyo? Pipilitin ko pa ba?

At paano kung mayroon ka nang iba? Malilihim ko pa ba?

****

Natanong ko sa isang kaibigan kamakailan lang kung paano napapanaginipan ang isang sitwasyon, bagay, tao, atbp. Ayon sa kaniya, ang mga bagay na pilit nating iniiwasang isipin habang tayo ay gising ay madalas magparamdam sa ating pagtulog sa pamamagitan na nga ng mga panaginip.

Shet na panaginip iyan.

***
Argghh. What's this feeling anyway?

***
The reason why people experience emotional pain/depression is because they have or are looking for someone or something to blame for their misfortune.

***
pucha. eto nanaman ako. takte. ooh, stupid jtc and their annoying love songs! curse ye biboy!!!!!!

***
shet, di ako matigil sa pagtype. arrghhh.

[T_T]

cheap frauds

2007-09-04T17:15:00.000-07:00

Distance, among all things, is one good tool to disthinguish who among the people you consider friends are the real ones.

Thanks for being so disrespectful. Imbeciles.

blank paper

2007-09-04T03:49:00.000-07:00

.
.
.
.
"Romantic love and true love are two entirely different terms, you know?"

"Oh? Paano mo naman nasabi?"

"Once romance dies, it hurts bad. True love on the other hand, cannot die."

"Hmm. Talaga? Parang imposible. Paano kapag me 'true love' ako pero nagpakasal na siya sa ibang tao?

"Well, if it really is true love you're feeling, how come she's marrying someone else?"

"Kasi hindi ako ang true love nya."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Ewan, move on na lang siguro. Wala naman akong magagawa eh. It's her choice. And ano ang laban ko sa true love di ba?"

"Aba. True love nga. Ni hindi ka man lang nasaktan."

"Oo nga no. Come to think of it, hindi nga."

.
***

[^_^]

2007-09-01T05:04:00.000-07:00

schaddenfreude-German term which means taking pleasure form the misery of others.

***
i dunno.

i feel numb.

i shouldn't have believed her in the first place.

***
any females out there interested to be my "best friend?"

mga text quotes!!

2007-08-31T03:45:00.000-07:00

I was in a poetic/philosophical/constipated mood when I typed this thang. In other words, only a few of these quotes are actually worth your while. Hehe.

***
True love is not falling in love with the ugliest person you know; true love is voluntarily sharing your lunch to the classroom bully who forgot to bring his own.
***
A romantic person is someone whose hidden agenda is to experience the grandest sex ever.
***
An enemy is a person who craves attention, especially yours.
***
A best friend is a person who is not good enough to be someone's lover (oh wag nio na lagyan ng issue ha..wahahaha).
***
"Sorry" is a word spoken only by those who will commit the same sin over and over again.
***
"Thank you" is a phrase used just in case "I love you" is not applicable.
***
Not all people who don mohawks know how to play any "rock" instrument.
***
Love lasts forever; it's romance that doesn't.
***
All jokes are half-meant. Joke lang.
***
The term "emo" is a shortened form of the word "emotional," not a music genre nor a fasion statement.
***

(2b contnued)

pfffftttt

2007-08-28T04:18:00.000-07:00

"yet we could live our lives as if there's never going to be a tomorrow. we could treat each day as if nothing could ever be more beautiful than the present."
-patit

*****

It's no secret that happiness is the ultimate goal of every person, and that each one of us cannot deny the fact that we have a soft spot for happy endings. It's just sad to know that most of us, upon encountering an overwhelming dilemma would just give up ang concede their hopes and dreams. I find these people the most pitiful, as they don't have the guts to believe in themselves. But, as I go on and examine myself, I have come to the nauseating realization that I myself find it difficult to trust in what I believe in. I could blame a lot of things for these, but the fact that I have a choice remains. If I choose to believe in myself and be happy, and really mean it, then everything will be swell.

I guess the reason why these people gave up is because they chose to discontinue dreaming and hoping. such waste.

***

The amorphous clusters of Pleiades shift through the silver arches that adorn midnight's ascent to harmony; in the glorious collaboration of lights and sounds, there stood Taurus, a meaningful stare fixed on the sister stars playfully strutting themselves much to the enjoyment of the euphoric mortals.

default's wasting my time translated to tagalog

2007-08-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

Well I don't want to see you waiting
I've already gone too far away
-Bakit di mo na ako tinitext???
I still can't keep the day from ending
No more messed up reasons for me to stay
-Oi. Namimiss na kita. Mga usapan natin, mga lakad, basta.
Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all again
Woah again
-Maglalasing nalang ako.

Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red
I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again
-Bakit ka nagsosorry?

See you waiting
Lonesome, lonely
See you waiting
I see you waiting
-Naaalaala mo pa ba noong una tayong nagkakilala?

****
yes. this post is vague and for a reason.

and now, back to our regularly scheduled programming

2007-08-20T03:41:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. It seems as though the cellar dwellers and playoff underachievers of the NBA are dead serious in furnishing their respective rosters. And as a fan-slash-analyst-slash-Memphis Grizzlies cheerleader, I am liking what I am seeing so far. Yeah, sure the contenders have made a conscious effort in improving their own lineup but not as concerted as the teams which I am to discuss in this post. With the looks of things, it appears that we are awaiting one blockbuster season. Anyway, let's proceed with my analysis, shall we?

Boston Celtics
-Well, which team do you think I'm gonna start with? The Chicago Bulls? Of course I'm kicking off my in-depth discussion with the team who caught the biggest fish in the sea- the Celtics. It's quite obvious that the proud basketball franchise of Boston has suffered in these dire times and have been a shadow of what they were back in the glorious days of Bill Russel and Larry Bird. Determined to rejuvenate the Celtic pride, Boston GM and former Celtic Danny Ainge scoured the entire player community and bargained hard for the pieces to fit the puzzle. Capping the offseason was the acquisition of Ray Allen in exchange for a string of players including versatile wingman Wally Szczerbiak and the 5th overall draft pick which turned out to be Jeff Green. Then from out of nowhere, it was announced that Kevin Garnett was being shipped to Boston for 5 players plus two future draft picks. On paper, a team lead by Paul Pierce, Allen and Garnett would be imposing. But so does on paper, New Jersey lead by Jason Kidd, Richard Jefferson and Vince Carter yet they are no Detroit Pistons. The problem with Boston is that so much personnel were lost due to their transactions (Yeah, I know the Big Ticket is worth that much but 7 for one? C'mon). While their starting 5 are all the more intimidating, the rest of their lineup are lemons. What's more, what happens if their Big 3 start retiring one by one? What would be left of Boston? Rajon Rondo?

Memphis Grizzlies
-Start calling them "Alex' Grizzlies" from now on (sorry Rick Kamla, but KG's no longer a T'wolf). I so love Memphis' roster. They have a player for each position and a backup to complement each member of the starting 5. Plus, they have Darko Milicic. Translation? Memphis is going to be a low post power. And don't forget Tarence Kinsey, who's on the rise to become Memphis' lead man. Also, keep in mind that aside from Damon Stoudamire, no one in Memphis' lineup has been staying in the league for more than 7 years. How's that for longevity?

Orlando Magic
-If for whatever reason my Grizzlies are still underachieving, I still have my Magic to root for. And it's all because of the arrival of Rashard Lewis. The addition of Lewis fills up almost every void in the Magic's roster, the most glaring of which is their lack of a legit go-to-guy. Last season, a talented yet visbly inconsistent Hedo Turkoglu was given the responsibility of being Orlando's top scorer. Unfortunately, the Turk's inconsistency and lack of explosiveness hampered his efficacy as an offensive anchor despite nights of brilliance and 30-point games. Rashard's presence also complements young phenom Dwight Howard, who patrols the low post. With an intimidating inside-outside connection, Orlando should be a force to be reckoned with in the East. My only complain about them is that after their big time transaction involving the famed wingman, Orlando seems to be disinterested in further improving their lineup. The Magic have a distinct weakness in frontline depth, especially in the center position which they should ponder at, or else they may find themselves in familiar territory again- this time outside the playoff picture.

New York Knicks
-I hate Stephon Marbury and I hate the fact that he is the Knicks' main man. But we have no other choice as the management's stern in keeping the NY native around for some time. The departure of Penny Hardaway and Steve Francis I must say is very much needed as it clears any conflict in the backcourt rotation and (more importantly) in the salary cap. Even more commendable is the addition of versatile slotman Zach Randolph from Portland, thereby boosting New York's frontline which already has Shaq-in-the-making Eddy Curry. Their guard combo lead by Marbury, Jamal Crawford and Nate Robinson is pretty much unchanged. Of course, if the Knicks are to go back to the playoffs, it's because of their frontline. E. Curry and Zach Ran on the same page? Brings back memories of the Twin Towers of yore.

Charlotte Bobcats
-Ah yes. Another team I am infatuated with, especially with J-Rich around. Jason Richardson provides steady offense and unequivocal versatility to the team, lead by the equally versatile Gerald Wallace. As a plus, J-Rich together with fellow new acquisition Derek Anderson can mentor the Bobcats' future shooting stars Walter Hermann (who's 30-point nights in the latter stages of last season were utterly memorable), Adam Morisson and Matt Carroll. However, just like Orlando, they seem to have no interest in building up their frontline which lacks a dependable center. Perhaps someone in the model of Curry would provide support to Emeka Okafor in the low post.

***
Well there you have it. If I missed any team, or you want me to provide some analysis on any team you wish, kindly give a shoutout on my tagboard. And Francis? I eagerly anticipate your reply. hehe

the other side of square

2007-08-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

They looked at him with the most awkward of impressions. And one can see the embarrassment stuck in the lonely eyes of the poor pimpled boy who was at that time trying to rub the dust off his glasses of unparalleled thickness. After cleaning his spectacles, he took his books and went away, brushing off the jeering stares directed against him.
He never knew how he would survive in an environment where the only ones he could count on were the books carefully placed in the confines of his backpack. College life, as it seems is far more cruel than high school life. Well, at the very least there were no (required) school dances in the university he is enrolled at.
He was baptized Israel Santino Moreno. To everybody else he was simply the classmate with the correctly answered homeworks and the near-perfect examinations. He never flinched upon hearing the constant name calling and the unconsolidated jabbering he was accustomed to. What he despised so vehemently was the indifference. No one even dared to sit next to him, for fear of contacting the same disease the upperclassman have associated him with: "Lack of Attention Disorder" or "LoAD" for short.

So he killed everybody with his .05 technical pen. Then he bathed in the swellness of the crimson pool he has created. Oh joy.

oh it's what you do to me

2007-08-15T03:59:00.000-07:00

even more in love with me you'd fall,
we'll have it all..

i swear upon my name that this is more than just a game..
this i realized as i saw myself engraved in the paranoia that has set in..
this sudden burst of emotion..
might as well help myself up..
forget the railings..
and not look back..
for i might see you in your best shot..
and find myself sprawled on the floor again..

a thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
i'd walk to you if i had no other way..

dire straits

2007-08-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

(a sort of continuation to my previous post)

What is the reason for everything anyway?

Atheistically speaking, can we say that life has any value in the same way we look at it with regards to religion?

We all die. And along with our rotting corpses our dreams, aspirations, and successes disintegrate in the nothingness of death. In analogy, we can say that everything we have worked for our whole life are basically for nothing as we near our inevitable end.

That being said, should it be wise that we use life to simply enjoy the privileges it provides us, instead of toiling for them first?

***

alex' rejuvenated blog lifestyle

2007-08-11T03:08:00.000-07:00

oyess.

Who would've thought I'd be back to my old blogging self anyway? hehe.

Well anyway, I'm supposed the devulge the secrects embedded on my blind items. Unfortunately for you, (hehe) I'm in no mood to do so. Hehe.

***
What's the purpose of amassing all the popularity, all the fame, all the adulation in the world if one day your life will come to an end? Is having a legacy as great as life's mysteries that much of a big deal knowing that you'll not be around sooner or later to realize this fact? All the talks of religion and the afterlife aside, what has life in store for us, once we cease to exist?

Don't worry, this is no suicidal note. But you have to admit: You may be the most educated, the richest person in the world, but once you die, everything you have learned and all the riches you have gathered will be thrown right out the window.

My point? I don't know. No wonder earth is populated by bums from all walks of life. And perhaps the smartest one of them all will have the same explanation as above to justify his actions, or lack thereof.

calamity calls

2007-08-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

Stupid reality checks. They always make me want to scream at the top of my voice. Or at the very least feel guilty for acting this way. Oh well. At least they go away overnight.

****
Fine, natuwa din ako sa blind item post ni Patit. At dahil ako ay original, gagawa din ako. nyahaha. Pero for the sake of uber secrecy, I will use the powers of linguistic excellence bestowed upon me to type my blind items. Good luck deciphering them. You'll need it.

****

The sparkling utopia I foresaw, was more of a hallucination than a vision. Never again will I stutter in the midst of extravagance. Never again will I exert effort for an obscure work of art. I'd rather stay secluded behind the curtains of my imagination than bare my extremities for the sake of an inanimate object.

Imbeciles. They will get theirs one day. And on that day I will stand there, tears on my eyes, a sadistic smile. You deserved it. Damn it, you deserved it.

Alas, the distance proved to be a greater irony than what I could've imagined. As it is, I should be grateful for the opportunity. Still, it would've been better if...never mind.

Respect is a majestic eagle. If you remain gentle, it will voluntarily alight on your shoulder. If you overstayed your welcome, it will claw out on you and fly away, with chances of it never coming back. My friend, why have you overstayed your welcome?

Yes, we have come a long way. And the times have mocked us with its unforgiving monotony. Yet we refuse to let time take over. The bond of brotherhood remains!

No one will ever come between us. There is strength in numbers and we have proven that addage time and again. And we will continue to prove it in the years to come.

Where have you been all these years, oh sweet scent of vanity?

****

fwfhrf

2007-08-03T05:08:00.000-07:00

eto na naman ako. lagapak. malungkot. nanginginig sa di malamang dahilan. napapaisip ako sa mga nangyayari. at aking napagtanto,

isa lamang akong kasangkapan.

***
don't ask. nothing personal.

hey there delilah, by plain white tees

2007-07-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Hey there Delilah

What's it like in New York City?

I'm a thousand miles away

But girl tonight you look so pretty

Yes you do

Times Square can't shine as bright as you

I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah

Don't you worry about the distance

I'm right there if you get lonely

Give this song another listen

Close your eyes

Listen to my voice it's my disguise

I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me

What you do to me

Hey there Delilah

I know times are getting hard

But just believe me girl

Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar

We'll have it good

We'll have the life we knew we would

My word is good

Hey there Delilah

I've got so much left to say

If every simple song I wrote to you

Would take your breath away

I'd write it all

Even more in love with me you'd fall

We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far

But they've got planes and trains and cars

I'd walk to you if I had no other way

Our friends would all make fun of us

and we'll just laugh along because we know

That none of them have felt this way

Delilah I can promise you

That by the time we get through

The world will never ever be the same

And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah

You be good and don't you miss me

Two more years and you'll be done with school

And I'll be making history like I do

You'll know it's all because of you

We can do whatever we want to

Hey there Delilah here's to you

This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me

What you do to me.

in lieu of something extravagant

2007-07-22T01:51:00.000-07:00

what is it like to have a friend? is it the same as having a romantic relationship? do you feel the scintillating shocks we have come to expect from a lover's kiss in the midst of a friend? are you able to exert the most overwhelming of efforts for that friend in the same way you are able to die for your significant other? can you hold that friend's hand with the same care and comfort you provide in holding your love's hand?

what is it like to have a friend?

a best friend at that?

j mpwf zpv

2007-06-28T04:51:00.000-07:00

i honestly thought we had a thing going on. but i guess i thought wrong. now i lam left apathetic, indifferent to what's supposed to be. still, i find myself smiling on the simplest reminder of what happened back then, when the stars all had an agreement to sparkle simultaneously. when i found myself seated beside the very person i never thought i'll exert much effort for. the day i met her was no magical moment. she was a minuscule speck in an abominable world, trying to insert herself in the doomed, illogical plane of liberated constraints, while allowing her conservative nature and indomitable faith to guide her across this winding road. she was the wallflower everyone seldom noticed; she found haven in the four corners of her room away from the clutches of the "new people." to others, she was non-existent. to me, there was something wrong. eversince my latest heartbreak, i never attempted to be involved in any romantic bonds while i struggled hard to brush off ideas of one day having a girl of my own. nah, the ladies can wait. i have so much more to prioritize and another mouth to feed is not one of then. but for some reason, there i was stuck in that same four-cornered room listening to her heart's despair. her body was severely weakened by her lack of confidence and determination. she had no motivation to maximize her potential and while her beliefs have kept her alive, her body can no longer withstand any more punishment she herself had visualized. i sat there and like the older brother i never was, i talked to her. and there i was, staring face to face with a suffering soul who desparately needed help. i never wanted to leave that room. i have to let her know that she was not alone in her struggles. and that was the promise.all of a sudden thoughts of romatic endeavors once again entered my mind. this time, the thoughts were hard to batle. in fact, i found interest in it. yes, she was just a friend but i know we had a bond. i confirmed this bond one special night. valentine's day, and i asked her out. suprisingly she obliged. and i had the time of my life, even though 90% of that time were spent sitting down and doing nothing but talk. but hey, that was a good 4-hour talk anyway. and i knew right then and there she had the trust. now what?everything suddenly came to a screeching halt one day via a simple text message. "sorry" was the only word she can say, void of any explanations. all those efforts, those counselling, those happy moments seem to leak away. and it only took a few seconds. but it did left a mountain of confusion that clogged me from the inside. i honestly thought we had a thing going on. but i guess i thought wrong. now i lam left apathetic, indifferent to what's supposed to be. still, i find myself smiling on the simplest reminder of what happened back then, when the stars all had an agreement to sparkle simultaneously. when i found myself seated beside the very person i never thought i'll exert much effort for.

i need someone to talk to..

2007-06-07T04:52:00.000-07:00

i need a best friend.

a female bestfriend.

haay...

ngayon lang ako ule nagkaganito..haha

issue!!!!!

2007-05-29T04:04:00.000-07:00

bright are the stars that shine
dark is the sky
i know this love of mine
will never die

and i love her...

****
haha..malamig kc eh..hehe

da digital domination(yes, this phrase is grammatically correct and whosoever says i am wrong will feel the wrath of an insightful linguist!

2007-05-27T05:47:00.000-07:00

You can now spit on me.

Just this afternoon, I took the Tickle.com "official" IQ test (yes, another official IQ test) and got a score of 122, earning me the very appropriate title of insightful linguist. No, I am not deterred by my score (which is very low for a UP student..haha..I don't even know if that is a praise or an insult) since I completely agree with the site's analysis of my intelligence (the 15-page analysis I must say, is very in-depth). My only regret for taking the test is that I actually posted the result for everyone to see, making myself an open target for many hapless insults. Oh yeah.

By the way, I got a perfect score on the visual-spatial part of the test. What are the odds of that? haha

***
and no lovely, i am not getting that multiply account..haha

tula ule

2007-05-26T04:28:00.000-07:00

para sa mga taong malayo sa kanilang mahal (yeah labli!hahahahaha)

***
now that you're nowhere near
i am stuck in this whirl alone
forced to go with the flow
drenched in my tears for you

now that you're faraway
i long for each other day
searching for your tender embrace
in every face i see

the distance is never easy
everything is eclipsed by my thoughts of you
there's no other way to see you smile
convinced i am nothing without you

yet another love story

2007-05-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

Naalala ko nung unang beses ko siyang nakita. Nakaponytail, naliligo sa makamandag na amoy ng kaniyang perfume, sakal na sakal ang leeg sa dami ng kwintas na suot, at ang kaniyang mukha binugbog ng make-up. Hindi na ako nagulat na maraming kalalakihan ang humaling na humaling sa kaniya. Maging ang barkada ko siya ang pantasya. Hindi ko alam kung paano nila nagustuhan ang kaniyang artipisyal na kagandahan. Sila naman, nagtataka kung paano ako nanatiling manhid sa presensya ng isang "anghel na hulog ng langit." Ewan. Siguro di ko lang talaga hilig ang mga babae na ang turing sa kanilang mga accesories ay mas importante pa sa pagkain. Dahil sa dami ng pabango na binubuhos nila sa kanilang sarili, masasabi kong di nila pinapahalagaan ang oxygen na nanganganib na dahil sa polusyon. Pero pisikal na aspeto pa lang yan ng problema ko sa "babaeng" yan. Kapag narinig ko na siya magsalita, parang iniinsulto niya ang mga dedikado at masisipag na taong nagbigay daan sa pagpapalaganap ng proper english grammar. "How init naman in this kwarto!" Aray ko. Pasalamat siya babae siya. Oo nga't wala akong karapatang husgahaan siya dahil di ko pa naman siya nakikilala ng lubos. But her presence invokes so much irritation in me that I canot tolerate. Kinkutya na nga ako ng barkada ko eh. "Tol ba't ka ba galit na galit sa kaniya eh wala naman siyang ginagawa sa'yo? Kraz mo siya no?" "Tol remember the more you hate the more you love. Yihee!" Kung alam lang nila. "Teka paano niyo naman nasabi na the more you hate the more you love? That kind of belief is very circumstantial, if not ludicrous." Ang sagot nila? "Heh!" "Kaya ka hindi pa nagkakagirlfriend eh masiyado kang mapagmataas!" Natawa na lang ako. Mahirap na.

Sa may bakanteng lote sa paaralan sa tabi ng personnel's lounge. Doon ako nakatambay kapag ako lang magisa. Di kasi masiyadong pinpuntahan yung lugar dahil alam ng marami na tambayan yun ng mga janitor at sikyu sa paaralan. Siyempre, pumupunta lang ako doon pag walang tao. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero, I feel an unexplainable peace. Para bang ako lang ang tao sa buong mundo. Hindi ko masabi kung masaya ba ako o malungkot. Ang alam ko, kapag nakaupo lang ako sa bench ng bakanteng lote na yon, walang pwedeng gumambala sa akin.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

Nagulat na lang ako. Parang nagising ako mula sa pagkatulog. Paglingon ko, isang babaeng estudiyante anfg tumambad sa aking paningin. Shoulder-length hair, fair complexion, brown eyes, firm breasts. Isang ordinaryong babae.

"Uh, sure. Nga pala hindi mo naman kailangang mag-english. Wala tayo ngayon sa club meeting."

Tama. Nakita ko na siya. Sa english club. Madaldal siya noon.

"Pasensiya ka na. Nasanay lang ako. Tulad nga ng sabi mo, 'to learn proper english grammar, one must use the english language on a consistent message."

Aba. Smart-aleck. I like this girl. Reminds me of me.

"I didn't catch your name the last time. Ano uli pangalan mo?"

"Claire. Claire de Jesus."

"Oh. Nice to meet you, Claire."

Bland. Monotonous. Ni hindi man lang tumayo ang isang strand ng buhok ko sa batok. To be fair nakikinig naman ako sa mga sinasabi nia.

"Uhh, Mr. President?"

"Tawagin mo nalang akong XJ."

"Ok, XJ. Nice nickname."

"Full first name ko kasi ay Xander James."

"Ah. XJ?"

"Ano yon?"

"Bakit ka tumatambay dito? Di ka ba naaalibadbaran sa mga janitor?"

Naalala ko yung babaeng pilt na kinukumpara ang sarili kay Britney Spears.

"Bakit naman ako maaalibadbaran sa kaniya? Tao din naman pala sila eh."

"Oo nga. Pero-"

"Pero di sila classy, clean, at mayaman tulad natin? Kung sila ang nasa lagay natin at tayo naman ang nasa lagay nila, ganiyan din kaya ang kanilang sabihin."

Natahimik siya. Ng matagal. 15 minutes siyang di kumibo.

"Oi alis nako. Klase na namin eh. Ikaw wala ka pa bang klase?"

"Wala. Nagleave yung math teacher namin. Di pa inaappoint yung substitute."

"Ah ok. Sige, alis na ako."

I felt weird nung umalis na siya sa pagkakaupo. Guilt? Siguro. Basta. Ang pangit ng feeling.

Later that afternoon. Dissmissal. Nakita ko nanaman si Christina Aguillera. At nakita din niya ako.

"Oh look. It's Mr. President of the english world of the Philippines!"

Aray ko.

"Will you make turo to me how you became so galing with your english?"

"I will, if you'll stop suffocating me with your nauseaus perfume."

"Wow naman you're sooo deep! You're like the dagat that's sooo lalim!"

Tawanan. Yung barkada ko, di ko alam kung natawa sila sa joke ng feelng diva na yun o sa pagkapikon ko.

"You know Mr. President I like to make stay with you here and make chika to you but I have a date with so many lalake in my neighborhood! So adyu!"

"It's adieu. Not adyu."

Sumabog na ang lugar sa katatawanan ng barkada.

"Pare ayos lumalapit na siya sayo!"

Kinabukasan, nakita ko na naman ang sarili ko na magisa. So it's instinctive na didiretso ako doon sa tambayan ko. Pagdating doon,

"Ui XJ!"

"O Claire. Nandito ka."

"Wala lang. I just want to discuss something with you."

"Ano naman iyon?"

"Well, kinausap ako ng club adviser. Hanapin daw kita. Pag-usapan daw natin yung magiging topic for the debate sa english week."

"Ahh. Ikaw pala yung na-assign doon. O cge, ano ba ang topics?"

"It's about beauty versus brains."

"Wow, new. Definitely brains."

"Bakit naman?"

"Intelligence is much needed because of its contribution to society. Intelligence helps us to know more about others and ourselves. Intelligence-"

"Doesn't care about physical appearance."

"Aba you're catching up. Case closed. Mag-isip na tayo ng bagong topic."

"I don't think so. Maganda ang argument ng beauty, kung alam mo lang."

Di ko na siya sinagot. Waste of time and saliva lang kung makikipagbarahan pa ako sa kania.

"Ok. Beauty vs brains it is."

Simula noon, madalas na kame magkita doon. Same topic ang pinaguusapan. Kahit tatlong buwan pa ang hihintayin para sa english week.

"XJ tanong lang."

"Shoot."

"Why is it that you're hostile against 'the beautiful?'"

"Kasi itsura lang ang pinagbabasehan nila ng kanilang judgments. Di bale ng irrational basta sila ang tama."

"Yun ba talaga, o insecure ka lang?"

Asar.

"How can you accuse me of being insecure kung di mo naman ako kilala?"

"How can you accuse 'the beautiful' of being one-sided,close-minded, narcissistic jerks?"

Ouch. Naisip ko na ang sasabihin para barahin siya. Pero for some reason, hindi ako makapagsalita.

"I'm sorry. Nadala lang ako."

"It's okay. You have a good point there. You should write that down."

Ewan. Nasaktan ako. Pero di ako nagalit o nairita man lang sa kaniya. Hala. Eto na nga yata ang tinatawag nilang guilt.

"Oi sige, alis na ako. May klase pa kami."

"Uh, Claire? Kita uli tayo dito bukas ah."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi ko.

"Sige. Wala rin naman kaming klase ng hapon. Kita na lang tayo."

Naalala ko noong first time kong pumasok sa english club. Bano pa ako noon. Reckless, immature, insensitive. Exact adjaectives na binato sakin ng club adviser. Three years later, di nagbago ang mga katagang yon.

"Ma'aam Olivarez? Oh c'mon. Ako ang president ng club. Ako ang representative ng school in debates and other english-related contests. How can you say those three things to me?"

"XJ nainlove ka na ba?"

Huh? Anong kinalaman no'n?

"Wala lang. Iniintriga lang kita."

Wicked sick talaga si Ma'am Olivarez. Ewan. Hinahangaan ko siya dahil sa kaniyang wit and intelligence. Napakahusay niya. Kaya nga't napatunganga na lang ako sa sagot niya.

"In love? Ako?"

"Oo nga pala. Aalis ako ng maaga. Kaya dito na kayo ni Claire mag-discuss."

"Nakausap niyo na po si Claire?"

"OO naman."

May undertone. Pero di ko na pinansin. Parating na kasi si Claire.

"Claire hi."

"Oh XJ!!So that's your name!!Ayy!!It's so asteeg like youu!!!"

Aray ko naman.

"Ma'am anon'g ginagawa niya dito?"

"Well Mr. English president of the whole wide Philippines, pinapasabi po sa akin ni Claire that she can't make usap to you because she has to make go with her ama to their home!"

"Ha?"

"XJ umuwi na daw si Claire."

"Oh."

"SO in this very moment of our buhay, we will make usap about my beauty and your utak!"

Double aray.

"O sige XJ. Ikaw na ang bahala dito. Ikaw na ang bahala kay Claire."

Umalis na si Ma'am. Oh my.

"So Claire din ang pangalan mo."

"Beauty is no apparition of one's sick, perverted delusions. Beauty, naturally, is a reflection of one's own confidence and conviction to the things he or she knows."

Teka tama ba itong narinig ko? Observe first. Curled, dyed hair. Mascarra. Bubblegum lipstick. Full, round breast. Nope. Di siya si Claire. Imposible.

"Good points, but some people use their beauty in sick and perverted ways, as if beauty is the only thing that keeps them alive."

"If your brain is as good as it is, then you'll realize that beauty is not what you think it is: a curse."

Bago pa ako makapagsalita, ang artipisyal na kagandahan na aking pinagtuunan ng naguumapaw na galit ay dagling lumapit sa akin.

Wala akong magawa. Kundi humalik pabalik.

Bigla kong nadama ang pangit na feeling. Hindi. Hindi pala siya pangit. Hindi siya guilt. Mas grabe pa itong nadarama ko. Sa pagyakap ng aming mga labi, naalala ko ang nakaraan. Tatlong taon na ang nakakaraan. Nang makita ko ang babaeng iyon sa unang pagkakataon. Kaya pala ako nagagalit. Dahil nga insecure talaga ako.

Natapos ang halik. Hindi ko nakita ang Claire na binugbog ng make-up. Imbes, ang nakita ko ay ang sarili ko na kailangan ng make-up para takpan ang kapangitang taglay nito. Pero bago tulyang mamulat ang aking mga mata, nawala na siya. Umalis.

"Pare Claire pala panagalan niya!"

"Hah? Oo nga."

"Pare may aaminin kame sa iyo."

Nanigas ang buo kong katawan. Ang pangit na feeling bumabalik. Gusto kong bumalik three yers ago. Mali. Hindi dapat mangyari ito. Ako mismo ang lumikha nga Claire na kinaiinisan ko. Ginawa niya ang lahat. Sinalungat niya ang tradisyong kinagisnan na ng marami at tinuloy ang kaniyang pagmamahal. Kahit pa harapin niya ang kahihiyan para lang harapin ang katotohanan.

"Beauty is no apparition of one's sick, perverted delusions. Beauty, naturally, is a reflection of one's own confidence and conviction to the things he or she knows."

Naiintindihan ko na.

English week. Debate day. Change of plans.

"Our brain is the one thin that keeps us afloat. Without it, we are basically dead. Yet, it has come to my attention that brains alone is not enough. What's the use of knowledge if you can't share it to the world? In order to do so, we must feel beautiful. Yes, beautiful. For the essence of beauty is not on the physical aspect alone. It ist the manifestation of one's own confidence and conviction."

Nanalo ang beauty side. Yan mismo ang sinabi ni Claire. Ako? Hindi na ako sumali. Hindi ako karapatdapat na magsalita. Wala akong karapatan na magmarunong dahil hindi ko pa alam ang lahat. Just because I deliberately forgot the past and the one person that made it perhaps the best thing that I lack.

Nakita ko nanaman ang sarili ko na magisa. As usual, diretso sa tambayan.

"Hi XJ."

*****
Patawarin mo ako. Kinalimutan kita. Sana lagi kitang makita sa bench na yan. Hanggang sa ako'y mawalan ng hininga.

haha moment

2007-05-23T03:37:00.000-07:00

aaminin ko,
lahat ng ito,
ay inaalay..
lamang sa iyo
aaminin ko,n
a ang buhay ko
ay walang kulay
kung di dahil sa yo
aaminin ko,
tanging ngalan mo,a
ng sinisigaw ng damdamin ko..

*insert girl's name here*

maghihintay ako...

omg!

..

2007-05-22T06:29:00.001-07:00

can this be love i'm feeling ryt now?..

hahaha..

don't ask why..

Ü

..

2007-05-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

can this be love i'm feeling ryt now?..

hahaha

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

2007-05-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

'nuff said.

acknowledgment

2007-05-20T05:38:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention this. How impolite of me.

The bulk of information I have used in posting my 3 previous posts, not to mention the grounds I have based my comments from where taken from Bo Sanchez' book "How to Find Your One True Love." It's a great read, although it comes with a warning: It shouldn't be read by die-hard romantics period.

That being said I hereby close this debate. *finally!*

the FINAL closing statements

2007-05-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

If my previous post were running for the elctions, it will be a nuisance candidate. I have to concede the fact that the vast majority of the people today will definitely disagree with the message the afforementioned post brings, as it basically shatters the very foundation of the thing they call love. Apparently, you need to feel something in order to deduce that you are in love. Admittedly, I have to say that is legitimate. To love by sheer force is foolish as they all say. Or is it really?

People, let us wear our thinking caps for a while and remember the first time we fell in love. We all felt woozy, we all felt weird, we all felt attracted. Our heart beats so fast, we write poems, we cringe upon hearing sentimental music and we simply crumble in front of our love. We can't contain our emotions. We can't sleep, we can't eat (properly..hehe), we can't think straight. All the while, the image of that one love fills your brain with cherry blossoms from paradise. Everytime we are with that love, we hear Spongecola singing Neon (err, that's the song playing as I type this post..hehe). We can't help it but stare at the person all day long. When the opportunity comes to talk to the person, we stumble, we stutter but still do everything to grab that opportunity. Then comes D-day, when we finally confess what we really feel. There can only be two outcomes: 1.) S/he says yes or 2.) S/he says no. Either way, we feel an overwhelming amount of emotion that floors us with its incredible power. We are now convinced that love is forever. As the days turn to weeks, the weeks turn to months, the months turn to years, we find ourselves looking at the mirror, counting the new strands of facial hair that has grown (or what was left of it) anew on our faces. We blink once, twice. We stare blankly at our reflection. We look at the empty bed beside us. Yes, we are alone. Lonely. Whatever happened to the love we said that was undying, imortal, forever? We thought it will never leave us. Then what the hell just happened? The feeling faded, so therefore the love is lost. And what's left is a miserable life longing for a purpose.

No, I won't participate in the elections because i was disqualified. The other candidate won convincingly. But, can we really say that we have really loved?

Can we look at our partner and admit to him/her that we loved them for their good sides and purposely ignored the other side?

Can we scream to the world that we are in love even if we're not engulfed in the arms of of our dreampartner?

Can we whisper words of deep affection to our partner even if we are not feeling like doing so?

Of course we can't. We have to have feelings. Since love is an emotion, we have to feel it to really say we are in love.

No, we can't love the other side so we pretend it's not there when in fact it's bothering you so much.

No, we can't scream to the world because we are stuck with a person who ou don't even know.

No, we can't whisper words of love if our partner did not rub our backs or nibble our ears.

Question: Is this post trying to convince you to abandon your old perspective about love?
Answer: Maybe. It is up to you if you would do so.

Next Question: What if the feeling is gone? Do you abandon the partner and waste the memories, struggles, and lessons learned?
Answer: Up to you.

Please. For your own good. Don't love for the sake of emotions alone. Because the feeling that you have in your heart, it will subside. Then you are left to decide if you'll continue to love or not.

ZIPCODE: Emotions exist. The measure of their intensity however, depends on our own intervention.

PONDERPOINT: Recall PP1 on my previous post. Then ask yourself. What happens if the "love" is gone? Do you search for it again?

"You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come."
PP2: What if it didn't come?

rebuttal

2007-05-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

As I have wanted all along, I received very interesting reactions regarding my previous post. While the comments were few (actually dalawa lang clang nagcomment..hehe), it's just fitting that I elaborate further on my post which by the way is grammatically wrong (but the message it conveys is true).

*****
When we talk about love, two of its kind pop in our mind: the idealistic type and the realistic one. Idealistic love is the one which is depicted in movies, tv shows, etc. where fate, desiny, and love as an emotion rule. Realistic love on the other hand is basically the type which longs for idealistic love. It may sound ironic and confusing, but a clear observation on this one will reveal its truthfulness. In reality, it is pathetic for someone to rely heavily on our media-conceieved idea of what love is supposed to be, that love is the grandest gift of destiny. Is it rational, or even realistic to say that love in all its aspect is an emotion, the same as happiness, sadness and anger?

When someone says "I love you," he/she is saying it with repesct to what he feels. Yes, love the emotion does exist. However, contrary to what many people believe, this love encompasses only the affection, desire, etc. of that person to another, not the "destiny" or "fate" that it was suppossed to be with. Strong emotions lead to fast decisions which are not always rational and practical. Leaning on this belief thereby supports the side that love is capable of doing anything (and by anything, I mean anything w/o regard of morality or lack thereof) thus violating the nearest (and quite possibly best) definition of love as stated in the Bible: "Love does not delight in evil."

What then, does this mean? Love as an emotion, is simply an emotion, an infatuation, which suggests actions that may or may not fall on our preferences of principle and morality. Romance may feed heavily on feelings, but true love is more about decision-making. The simplest proof to this definition is that it is impossible to like a trait of a person that you despise.

Bottomline: We can say that love is a tussle between feelings and decisions. But when it all boils down to it, love will always lead to a person choosing what to do next.

PONDERPOINT: When we fall for someone, take agood look at him/her. You will notice that he/she is quite attractive while those around you think otherwise. Ask yourself, have you fallen for him/her because he/she fits your view of beauty or is it because you chose to make him/her beautiful the way you want him/her to be?

PP2: When you fall for someone, again ask yourself, did you fall in love because the traits she possess that you like the most overwhelm you to the point that anything else can't replace the image of the one you love on your mind? Or did you fall in love because you have learned to ovelook the positives and negatives and love him/her for who she is and not the all-positive image of him/her?

i spit in the face of nostalgia!

2007-05-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO THE PUBLIC: I've just finshed reading the archives of a certain someone (whose name I won't expose to the people who visit my blog just because I don't want to..hehe) which prompted me to write something scientific, just like the ones I have posted waaaay back. And as usual, the topic is all about lav.

All of us have felt a thing that we claim to be love. Most of us try their hardest to ignore the feeling while others go to the extreme just to show how they truly feel. The rest simply remian apathetic; numb to say the least.

What is it abou this thing they call love? Movies, songs, poems, teleseryes dictate that love is something that emotionally affects you drastically. That love can change a person inwardly and outwardly. Then again, is this what love is all about? Is it just a facet of romanticism? Or is it greater than what we think it is?

Truth be told, love is not limited to holding hands, serenades, sugar-coated moments and sex. If that is the case, then we are entitled to have sex with the ones we hold dear, regardless of gender or kinship. On the other hand, love is something that should be expressed. It is not something that should be concealed. Otherwise, that's not love.

Perhaps the most shocking truth of all is that love is not strictly a feeling. If it is, then we are entitled to get the heebeejeebees everytime we see our parents, best friends, etc. On the other hand, love is something that we decide to express. Love doesn't wait for emotional outbursts. What it requires is a firm decision to love and do everything it takes to love.

Love also does not rely in fairy tale beginnings. Magical events may happen, but love couldn't care less. What love aims for however, is fairy tale endings, even if it is not guaranteed.

It is sad that today's generation really do not love at all. They are simply guided by the one principle that emotions rule the heart. They are simply infatuated, not in love. One cannot say that he has loved if he only heard it in his heart. A person who is in love is one who remains rational and strong, both for himself and the one he treasures.

Dolor

2007-05-09T07:15:00.000-07:00

Nasaktan ako kagabi. Nadapa, sumubsob at nasugatan. Malamang masakit ang sugat na natamo ko. Nagdurugo pa rin ito hanggang ngayon. Iniisip ko lang kung paano ko ito gagamutin. Kulang sa gamit, walang kasama sa bahay. Isang bote lang ng alcohol ang meron ako, at ilang cotton swabs. Binuhos ko ito sa bandang tuhod ko at dagling pinanglinis sa sugat gamit ang swabs. Mahapdi. Pero kailangang tiisin ang sakit para gumaling. Kaya nga naman sumasakit kasi umeepekto na yung alcohol. Matapos matuyo ang sugat ko nilangyan ko na ito ng band-aid. Ayos na. Maliban sa kulay kahel na band-aid na nakadikit sa balat ko para na ring walang nangyari sakin.
Nitong umaga lang bumisita si Mang Esteban sa bahay. Tulad ng dati hangad niyang magbayad na kami ng renta sa inuupahang bahay. Naalala ko na nagpadala nap ala sakin sina inay ng lingguhang allowance ko. Wala na rin akong nagawa kaya’t binayaran ko na rin ang pinagkakautangan ko. Si Mang Esteban. Hindi naman talaga siya nakakatakot tulad ng iniisip ng iba. Hindi lang talaga siya maintindihan ng mga tao. Paano ba naman laging nakakunot ang noo, magkasalubong ang kilay at nakasimangot. Parang pasan niya ang lahat ng problema ng daigdig sa balikat niya. Madalas siyang magsungit lalo na sa mga hindi niya kakilala maliban na nga lang kapag interesado yung tao na yon na kumuha ng unit sa apartment niya. Misteryosong tao si Mang esteban. Kasing misteryoso ng pangalang lagi niyang binibigkas.
Nakuwento minsan ng isang kapitbahay ang tungkol sa pangalang Dolor. Ayon sa kanya, bago pa man ako napadpad sa apartment ni Mang Esteban, may isang dalaga na tumra sa unit na tinitirahan ko ngayon. Isang kolehiyala, mahaba ang buhok, maputi ang balat, balingkinitan ang katawan. Habulin siya nga mga kalalakihan. Kaya’t hindi na rin nakakagulat na kabila-kabila ang mga nobyo niya. Noong una niyang nakita ang babae, ang tanging interes lang ni Mang Esteban sa kaniya ay ang kaniyang intensyong manirahan sa apartment. Pero tulad ng ibang kalalakihan, nabighani rin sa kaniya ang landlord, na singkwenta anyos ang edad. Sa unang pagkakataon, tumibok ang puso ng binatang si Mang Esteban. Tinangka niyang manligaw sa babae. Pero mas lalo pang natakot ang dalaga kaysa matuwa. Dahil dito, napilitan ang babae na lumipat ng tirahan. Hindi na siya muling nakita ni Mang Esteban.
Nagkita kami ni Clarisse bago ako nadapa. Buti na lang di niya nakita. Dyahe naman kung nagkataon. Matagal din akong nagpakahirap bago ko nakuha si Clarisse. Ilang lalake rin ang hinamon ko ng suntukan para lang sa kaniya. Naging maganda naman ang epekto. Napasaakin na nga siya sa kabila ng mga pasang naging parte na ng mukha ko. Pero marami pa rin ang hindi ko alam tungkol sa kaniya at ganoon din naman siya sa akin. Kaya napagdesisyunan namin na para sa ikakaganda ng aming relasyon kailangan naming matuto na maging totoo sa isa’t-isa. Bukas na bukas, kakausapin ko na siya. Kund di lang talaga sa ID na ito….

patlang-pasosyal na blangko

2007-05-06T05:42:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day (mula sa blog ni labli. nakakatuwa kc ung liriks):
"Cause how can you give your love to someone else, and share your dreams with me?"
-Vanessa Williams, mula sa awiting Save the best for Last

Just remembered something upon reading the said lyrics. Yeah, bitterness. Still a part of me, I fear.

the harshness of winter in a tropical country, granma style

2007-05-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: The following blog entry was made with 70% alcohol and may be hazardous to one's health. If you experience gastritic discomfort and/or vertigo stop reading this post and navigate other sites instead.

May 5, 2007 started out just like any other day. I woke up earlier than usual to extort from my father some money. The entire day simply whizzed off as soon as the buzzer signifying the end of Dallas' 67-win season rang out. All of a sudden I found myself gulping my nth shot of brandy much to the chagrin of my parents. On that night I learned a valuable lesson: never underestimate the usefulness of a shot glass. This I learned after my vommit spree which lasted for about 20 rounds. Oh yeah. My breath was sweeter than the morning breeze after that.

Anyway, on to the NBA. Before the playoffs began I had my traditional playoff predictions. So far I bummed out on two of them after the Spurs trampled Denver in 5 while Golden State scored an amazing 4-2 upset over the much heralded Dallas Mavericks. There is still one more 1st round series going on with the Jazz-Rockets scuffle going the full seven. My choice? Houston.

For those who are thirsting for some 2nd round predictions, here's my lowdown:

EAST
Chi v Det
No one can stop the maturity of the Baby Bulls. Not even Motown. Bulls in 6.
Cle v NJ
On paper, the most exciting game to look forward to in the 2nd round. I have reasons to believe that in this season, LBJ will turn out a legendary performance. The Cavs in 6.

WEST
SA v Phx
Torrential offense meets defensive wall complete with spiked barricades. Will the Suns' offensive storm calm down then drop dead, or will the Spurs' championship defense crumble and fall? I'll go with the latter. Suns in 7.

Hou v GS
Steve Kerr brought out a terrific point when he remarked on whether Yao Ming has the capacity to cope with the Warriors' running game. My reaction? Yao will score at will on the low post. Rockets in 6.

the millionth mile

2007-05-03T18:31:00.000-07:00

five months of procastination
living in my own deception
looking for some consolation
if what I did should be forgotten
a thousand failures in the past
all the stings did not seem to last
feels like I'm going nowhere fast
maybe I can't stay for long
all the time it's my own will
I got my hands on the steering wheel
maybe that's why it all feels all so wrong
I've been driving on a winding road and
I really don't seem to understand that
I badly need to have a helping hand 'cause
I've been wandering for a while
should be looking to the sky for His smile
this I've realized on the millionth mile...

P.S. cis basahin mo toh

2007-04-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

Wooh. Oh yes. I'm online after months of self-indulgence on my academics and work(yes, I am applying for a job. Please pray that I'll get hired. Hehe). And since a friend of mine just had a post abot good old NBA, it's just fitting that I make one of the saem topic as well. Now let's get started!
NOTE: For further references, check out cis' blog and/or NBA.com

All-NBA 1st team
C-Tim Duncan
I was tempted to pick Yao ming but he really did not play enough games to solidify his place in the 1st team so I'm going with Duncan. Of course I may be wrong. Let's just keep our fingers crossed on this one.
PF-Dirk Nowitzki
SF-LeBron James
LBJ h8er, yes I am. But I do love what he has done for the Cavs.
SG-Kobe Bryant
I guess it's high time to rename the LA Lakers to Kobe's Lakers.
PG-Steve Nash

2nd team
C-Yao Ming
Still not sure about this one.
PF-Chris Bosh
As far as the Dwight Howard-Bosh is concerned, I am definitely rooting for Bosh, simply because he is a more refined and reliable scorer that Dwight(perhaps if Dwight develops a more efficient low post move, or adds more range to his repertoire, or both, then we'll talk).
SF-Carmelo Anthony
I still can't believe the powers that be snubbed Melo in the All-Star game. They should make up for this blatant travesty and insert him at least in the 2nd team. In your face cis. Hehe
SG-Vince Carter
Heeeeeee's baaaaackk!
PG-Jason Kidd
Mr. Tripple-Double at his best. He has never played this better ever since leading the Nets to two consecutive finals appearance.

3rd team
C-Marcus Camby
This rebounding and defensive freak has only one weakness to his game: hardiness. If I'm not mistaken, he has never played a full 82-game season in his career.
PF-Dwight Howard
SF-Josh Howard
SG-Tracy Mcgrady
PG-Chauncy Billups

PostSeason Awards
Confirmed:
CoY-Sam Mitchell
MostImproved-Monta Ellis
I actually agree with this one. Those who don't can bite me.
Predictions:
MVP-Steve Nash
Has played more consistently than Dirk so far in the playoffs.
Roy-Brandon Roy
DoP-Marcus Camby

a story written under 20 minutes

2007-03-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

I took the liberty of typing our group's final paper for English 2. Yes, it's rather unusual of me to oblige to such request knowing that the paper is supposed to be 12 pages long and it is due tomorrow. What's more I haven't started working on it just yet. Yeah, another stupid mistake made by yours truly. Oh well. Back to the drawing board as they always say. Still I can't help but wonder why I accepted this responsibility in the first place, knowing that one of my groupmates could have done a better job. Shucks. How humble can one person get. Hehe.

****

I shouted at the top of my voice hoping you'll hear me. Hey, I was NOT talking to you.

dramatic return

2007-03-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. I'm back. The Google issue is not that complicated as I thought. A few clicks later and voila! I'm back to my old, blogging self. It's been quite a while since I typed anything in this site, knowing that this blog has become part of my computer routines way back. I guess I should learn to include blogging back in my daily activities once again. Besides, this blog is the only thing that bonds me to my one true hobby. Booyah.

***
watch out for my new and improved articles coming soon!!!

Tribute to Pudge: Meat Hook sa Dilim

2007-01-26T22:43:00.000-08:00

Ipakita mo sana ang ulo mo sa kanan
Katawan mo ay aking pupugutan
Mga kakampi mo ika'y kinalimutan
Nang ikaw ay nameat hook sa dilim...

Wag mo pigilin kung nais mapamura
Lalo na pag ang kasama'y walang kwenta
Kung gusto mo ay magsigarilyo muna
Pagkatapos mameat hook sa dilim...

Eto na ang pinakahihintay namin
Eto ka na at nadismember sa dilim
O kay sarap ng mga hugot na sandali
Nang ikaw ay nameat hook sa dilimmm.....

Halika na mga friends humanda na
Lasapin natin ang sarap mga kasama
Sayong mga teammates ay wag ka nang umasa
Pagkat ikaw ay nameat hook....

Sa Dilimmm...!!!!

*haha*

Sleeper v.2.0

2006-12-31T23:01:00.000-08:00

This is a repost of a short story I wrote 2 years ago March 2005). I made some neccessary edits for improved quality and content. Enjoy!
****

I can still see it.

That romantic, seconds-long movie about an obnoxious, nerdy-looking high school student in love with a fair damsel, a glamorous angel that is lightyears away from him. It happened 2 years ago, when I found myself in a situation I couldn't understand. Always the loser, never gaining anything after my numerous tries. I tried to be "one of them" but I still ended up inside a dumpster containing social rejects, attention cravers and wasted lovers. Yet I still had the audacity to distance myself from the so-called "KSPs" just to have a place with the "astigs." Then there she was, out of the open. I never saw anyone looked so enticing, so elegant in a buttoned school blouse and checkered skirt. She didn't have the face that could launch a thousand ships but she did have the aura that sunk a thousand hearts. She has the eyes that captivate anyone that dare look at it. She has what they call "simple beauty" but to her numerous admirers hers is out of this world. Just being close to her made me feel like Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves. Looking at her was more than enough pleasure for my sight. It was like looking at the Mona Lisa. But of course, like any inanimate object, she didn't really pay close attention to my frantic admiration. Knowing this, I desperately tried to get her attention, but my efforts were more annoying than touching. As I lied in bed and reminisced I came to the conclusion that the princess I sought after was too high for me to reach. Trying hard won't get me closer and will just complicate things.

Then, as I entered the gates of submission, it happened.

I was just sitting by my lonesome(as always) busy creating an illusionary world of granted wishes when I saw her coming my way. I was utterly surprised. The mere sight of her walking to my direction made me tremble. My heart was like a drum that's being pounded violently. It was like witnessing an aparition. I was busy marvelling on this unexpected wonder that I didn't notice her sit beside me.

Then, in unconditional fashion she kissed me.

She really kissed me.

At that particular moment, I didn't know what to do. I just sat there, immobile but deep inside I was jumping and dancing. I was going wild. After that wondrous moment she whispered something to me but I didn't give much attention to it. I was too intoxicated by those sweet lips. I wished that time would just stop. But, fate was cruel to pretenders like me. As I turned around to look at her near-perfect face, everything went dark. Strangely, I saw the ceiling of my room. As I stood up, I was dumbfounded.

I just woke up.

It took me seconds to realize it was all a dream.

I was still in bed, in the wee hours of the morning. I looked around and confirmed that I was in my room. Darn it. Why didn't I think of that? It was too good to be true. The only time and place where she would kiss me is when I'm asleep, in my foolish, fake dreams. I felt stupid. I let myself be taken by an image projected by my mind. I felt like a total idiot.

Days, months, years have passed. And this stage of growing up has ended. I am now about to embark on another phase of my life, totally erasing the painful memories I naturally and deliberately forgot. It no longer bothers me.

Still, I can see that romantic, seconds-long movie being played. It's no longer in my dreams though, as it has somehow manifested itself in the reality where I belong. But like any movie, it's still fake.

100th post!!

2006-12-12T03:26:00.000-08:00

yey rejoice

The Ancient Masters (isang pokemon-based pseudo-novel part 1)

2006-12-09T04:18:00.000-08:00

Introduction: Howard Jansen’s letter to Harold Preston, Council leader

Esteemed leader,

It is of great honor and privilege to report to you of my team’s progress in the West Gate. The weather has always been harsh ever since we first set foot in this god-forsaken land, yet we refuse to make this as an excuse to stop us in our noble mission. We cannot, however, discount the fact that the adverse conditions have taken its toll on some of my men. We began with 10,000 frontiersmen but now, we are down to roughly a thousand. Still, the pride of being a councilor proved too valuable to simply be discarded in this snow-impaled land. I also know for a fact that my men, as downtrodden and miserable as I am, would rather freeze to death than renounce their calling to serve the council.
Anyway, our endeavors lead us to the discovery of a frozen amber containing what we suspect as an Ancient Beast. With all the speculations aside, we had brought the amber back to our campsite for further examinations. Unfortunately, our available equipment was not enough to shed any light on this mysterious object. Which is why I have decided to inform you of this amber and that we are on our way back home. I know that we have gathered insufficient information regarding the legend of the Ancient Beasts but we have no other choice, as our resources cannot help us anymore. I personally think, however that we have all the answers we need in the form of this amber.
On behalf of my team, I apologize for our sudden return. What I can assure you though is that we are not coming back empty-handed.
With regards,
Howard Jansen

I. Entrance
The Ivory Strip, center of commerce and development; the point where mysticism and science converge; a land shaped by knowledge and flourishing ideals. It truly was a haven for adventurers and scholars alike, the kind of haven that I, Jeremy Overton, would indulge in and forever be a part of. The entire region is what I expected it to be: covered with sophisticated, Renaissance-style buildings, populated by educated people from all walks of life and governed by the world-renowned Council. Speaking of the Council, they are the reason why I took the risk here in Royalton City, the Ivory Strip’s capital. Royalton is the epitome of the classy region, and it is only fitting that Ivory strip’s “younger brother” is the location of the Council’s official headquarters. The dream to be part of the world’s elite is enough motivation for me to leave the simple life I am accustomed to and pursue my lifelong goal. Flanked by this new culture and environment, I found myself struggling from the inside, as I trotted across the cemented road.

“Oh, look boys. It looks like we’ve got company.”

A gang of six well-dressed yet rugged looking teens slowly surrounded me, obviously wanting to cause some commotion at my expense. Attached to their waists are silver, rectangular gadgets which I’ve never seen before.

“Hey check him out he’s got those old-fashioned pokeballs!”

They began to ridicule and laugh at me. Since they know what pokeballs are, that means they must be trainers. But I had to be sure.

“Are you by any chance trainers?”

My question only made their laughter louder.

“Of course dimwit! Why do you think we have these Trainer Pads anyway?”
“Give him a break. He has not seen a trainer pad ever. See those passé pokeballs?”
“From what timeline did you come from anyway, twerp?”

I was getting annoyed with their constant insults. I then decided to take matters into my own hands.

“Since you’re all impressed with yourselves how about a match?”

“So, you want a battle, eh?” said one of them. His red bangs flowed down through his face, intensifying the domineering look in his eyes. Which gave me the idea that he is the leader in this rag-tag group. “Well, then. Let’s go for it! I am in the mood for some action.”

At that instance, he took the gadget they call trainer pad, pushed a few buttons then voila!

“Go Machop!”

An amour-clad, cyborg-like machop materialized before me. If he did not exclaim the pokemon’s name, I wouldn’t have known what I was about to face. The creature before me did not look anything like a machop I’ve seen in the past. This one was plated with metal all over its body. Fortunately for me its helmet did not conceal its face lest I would really doubt if I’m battling a living, breathing pokemon.

“Ok then, I choose Sentret!”

My pokemon was welcomed by jeering laughter yet again. Apparently, all pokemon used for battling in Royalton don some sort of battle suit. Whatever the reason, I knew I would be in one tough match.

“Machop show this newcomer what you’re made of!”

The pokemon immediately dashed upon its trainer’s order. I was surprised to see that despite the seemingly heavy suit machop wore, it moved amazingly fast.

“Sentret fight back!”

Both pokemon attacked each other with equal ferocity and level speed. But it was clear to me that my sentret would be in the losing end if this straight-out fighting would continue. Not only was sentret weak against the fighting-type machop, the hard amour was also giving the opponent significant advantages against my pokemon.

“Sentret don’t go head to head with machop anymore!”

“What’s the matter, scared that your puny pokemon would end up with broken bones? Machop finish off this battle!”

The machop again dashed this time with increased speed and power, it’s right fist gathering enough force looking to knock out sentret. And that’s what I was waiting for, ever since the match began.

“Ok sentret just stand your ground!”

The charging enemy has gathered enough power in its fist. Dynamic punch. We only have one shot at this.

“Now sentret!”

Just as I have predicted, the machop’s punch was too powerful for it to control. With the subtlest of movements, sentret dodged the attack. One iron tail later, machop was down, the impact of the attack denting the enemy’s iron helmet.

“Machop!”

“I cannot believe it, that guy just beat your machop!”

“ Darn it. You’re going to pay for this! Let’s get him!”

My opponent’s comrades followed suit with him, unleashing their own armoured pokemon. I was more dumbfounded with their pokemons’ appearance than the obvious mismatch before me.

“Finish him off!”

(2bcont)

jitterbug radio smackdown!

2006-11-04T04:42:00.000-08:00

NOTE: This post is my own reaction to a post my batchmate/former high school classmate reposted for his blog (acidbluethinks.blogspot.com).

Radio stations are alot like TV stations. They do whatever they have to do provide quality entertainment better than the competition, even if it means going beyond the boundaries of morality. The difference however is that radio stations tend to be indirect in crossing-over to Sin City, sparing them from the glaring controversies hounding the many TV shows of our time. So, how do radio stations attempt to lure the ire of the censorship board? Through the DJs unconsolidated (and uncensored) jabberring. In an effort to add color to their shift, DJs usually get jiggy with what they say, may it be corny or dirty jokes (ie YesFm DJs), or a page off the hottest 'chismis' surrounding the current mainstream's celebrities (ie Mo Twister). Honestly, these mere words actually fiz in the ears. I once tuned in to Mo Twister's radio segment, and while I find his style innovative compared to the other lackluster DJs who do nothing but read greeting cards on air, I cannot discount his jabs towards showbiz personalities such as Erik Santos and Cristy Fermin. Recently I have found a liking on YesFm's playlist, although I admit I am getting tired of the DJs' cliche humor and that annoying, high-pitched, Mahal-esque voice. Still, I find the afforementioned radio programs (and all the others that I tune in for that matter) interesting and worth fizzing my ears for. Afterall, these radio stations are perpetuating their current style and playlist in accordance to the audience they have chosen to cater. True, WRR's style and playlist may frustate many people, but to the masses which have been chosen by the station to be its target, WRR's music is the best period. Sure, a lot of parents will cry 'foul!' upon hearing Mo Twister's verbal lineup stating that the youngsters who listen to him may be wrongfully influenced. However, it's pretty obvious that Mo and his comrades are not leaning their material on toddlers. Truth be told, not one single radio station (and TV station) can provide the entire nation what it wants to hear, mainly because everyone has his own taste. It is entirely impossible to create a single radio station which aims to please every people in all walks of life and age. Thus emphasizing the importance of choosing an audience.

We may not be seeing a radio progam rated G in the near future, but at least we know where to tune in or not.

*This is all opinion. Please comment for..commens. Hehe.

I think therefore..I have a brain

2006-11-01T16:43:00.001-08:00

This is just great.

For some reason, I have lost my thinking prowess. I can no longer make up super-intruiging topics which I can write about in my awesome blog. Gosh. I should've had time to write more stuff. I am actually losing my edge. Tsk.

Wordlife

2006-10-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

Words are powerful. They can change the world faster than it would take the U.S. to declare war with Iraq. They can create or destroy establishments in record time. They are able to stretch the truth to unimaginable lengths. They can even kill people. With just a few strokes on a keyboard, or a few scribbles with a pen, a person can unleash an upheaval of information capable of drastic results. There is much truth to the saying “the pen is mightier than the sword.” While a sword causes instant death to one man, a pen can slowly murder more than one. Which brings us to the question: why then are all people given the ability to write words, with all these heinous things it can do?
Before civilization reared its ugly head, words were unheard of. Prior to its invention there was primitive communication. Records show the utilization of basic tools as modes of interaction, a mundane version of “talking.” As time progressed, man continually gained more knowledge and intelligence and with that, the first words were uttered. Then came grammar, vocabulary, and then linguistics. Over the years many people got involved with linguistics while others studied more on grammar and carried over as superb writers. The rest inevitably knew how to write paragraphs of varying lengths. Man’s interest in writing made it clear that words are no longer limited to communication. His growing thirst for more information demanded more functions from words. Almost immediately, books were created to provide facts about anything under (and eventually, beyond) the sun. Still, having the books regarded into the most basic source of information was not enough. Man wanted even more. So much, that he wanted basically anything that’s happening all over the globe. Current events have become as essential as man’s necessities, giving birth to journalism. Journalism eventually filled everybody’s wanting for the newest, most up-to-date information by daring to places where no one has gone before. Of course, journalism was not safe from flaws and blemishes, which caused the accumulation of false news, also known as gossips, speculations and rumors. And that did not bode well to the majority. The effect, the same words used for data gathering were used to ruin one’s reputation. Squabbles ranging from petty pillow fights to coast-to-coast wars were all caused in some way by the misuse of words. Millions of lives were lost because of said words. Supposed groundbreaking plans and announcements were cancelled because of words. Numerous relationships ended because of words.
But in reality, did words really cause all these? Looking back, words were created to elicit interaction, to aid man in their philosophical quest. Not to instill madness and chaos all over the world. The real culprit is definitely the wrong application of words, usually for personal gain. Hundreds and thousands of journalists were the receiving end of explosive bullets all because of their duty to tell the people of the truth, risky news that expose men in power of the criminals that they are. Celebrities have their reputation stained and reduced to pieces thanks to gossips regardless if they are true or not, released to the interested massed by jealous individuals. No, words do not give you the power to kill. You give words the power to do so. If we could only learn how to use words effectively, then the original function of words will be restored.

silence of me

2006-10-07T05:23:00.000-07:00

I flee with all the others
with no trace of limitation left
with no more roads left unturned
this cleaving force
here it goes..

there goes mi corazon
along the old, crooked, blue-yellow meadow
there goes my last understatement
further beyond my watery grave
alone here at last.

I can't say it wih all the others
whether or not they knew it all along
whether or not I better let it go
her best friend
here it went..

there goes mi corazon
along the old, crooked, blue-yellow meadow
there goes my last understatement
further beyond my watery grave
there goes mi corazon
across the shadows of this broken song
there goes my indecision
flying through the throng of whispers
with nowhere to go..

unless you're never gone.

$1-P50

2006-10-03T06:18:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, you've read correctly.

I was propped on my chair preoccupied with the PC monitor when from out of the blue, I heard the groundbreaking news from the boobtube: the peso-dollar exchange rate is 1:50. Oh my heavens. And get this: according to an analyst, it was all because of the overflowing amounts of dollars sent by OFWs to their families who've heard of Milenyo's destruction.

If this is one way to improve our country's economy then Neneng I welcome you with open arms! Overturn all the houses and uproot all the trees you can drench with your potentially destructive torrent! Woohoo!!!!

shheeeesh..how sarcastic can one man get..

The Closer

2006-09-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

2004 December, Wednesday, 6:21 A.M.

A loud knock on the door abruptly woke me up. After giving my alarm clock an instinctive glance I hesitantly hobbled through the door to open it. Elaine was the first person who caught a glimpse of me that day.

“Hey, John sorry for waking you up,” the neighbor apologized. “I just came to get my book back. I need it for today.”

“Oh, sure no problem,” I quickly replied even though it’s no secret that I was a bit annoyed for the sudden disturbance. My irritation however, faded away as soon as I returned her the book, which was welcomed with a smile I had bent my admiration on ever since the first time I saw her, which I think was 4 months ago.

“Thanks John. See you later!”

Elaine immediately left to attend her 7:00 class. Since I will not be having my class until 2 in the afternoon I locked the door and went back to my bed, with that soft smile still lingering inside my noggin for quite some time. Soon afterwards I dropped asleep.

2:17 P.M.

My laziness once again got the best of me: I woke up 10 minutes before 2:00. I frantically donned my vintage t-shirt and khaki shorts hanging on my cabinet, scooped up my notebook and rushed to the open road in hopes of catching a ride on the first jeepney to the campus I’ll see. Upon the arrival of a near-empty jeep, there she was, Elaine as if heaven-sent with a message of hope.

“Hi John, it’s your lucky day!” I couldn’t agree more, I said to myself. “I just met your classmate in Math36 and he said you have no classes today.”

What a relief, I muttered. Of course, relief is an understatement. There I was, in the middle of civilization filled to the brim with scampering students, with no classes and standing face to face with the girl I have a massive crush on. As I was about to deliver my words of gratefulness (not to mention my shy intention of treating her to a drink at Blitzwave) she went inside the vehicle I was supposed to take.

“Well I’ve got to go John. I’m late for Hum2. Bye now!”

The jeep whizzed away, leaving in its wake a cloud of poisonous carbon monoxide. I couldn’t be any happier. That is until I discovered I forgot my wallet at the dormitory.

11:04 P.M.
I arrived half-asleep in my studio-style home a bit aware of the turn of events I encountered. After retrieving my wallet form the clutches of my covers and pillows I celebrated my recent meeting with Elaine at Barracks. The continuous game time took its toll on my fund but what the heck. This was such a great day that it is just fitting that I cap it off with a godlike streak. With my retirement on my sheets imminent, I took a quick look on a photograph inside my wallet. It was a picture of that sweet angel. I closed my eyes, slowly moved the photo close to my lips, then dropped dead asleep.

Thursday, 7:46 A.M.

I had a good sleep, and I woke up with plenty of time to spare before my 9:00 PE class. A lengthy trip to the showers was followed by a sumptuous meal of pancit canton and rainbow bread. I left my unit and after a few steps away from the door Elaine greeted me.

“Good morning John! I see you’re off to Baker hall. Care to walk with me?”

Ah, my good fortune followed me even today. Even better, she was going to Baker hall herself. Even much better was that it was just 8:28 so we had enough time to walk all the way towards the destination. The best of all was that she’s wearing a rubber swimsuit plus mini shorts. Wow, was she so attractive that day. It was the best 24 minutes of my life. That is until a neon-silver Vios parked in front of the dormitory gate. A cocky-looking face peered out of the window.

“Yo Elaine how about a ride to Baker?”

What I heard next caused me ear bleeding.

“Sure! Sorry John, see you later.”

Then they were off. At least she spent 26 seconds with me.

Thursday, 8:57 P.M.

I never got to see Elaine after she went inside the streamlined mobile. I never felt miserable my entire life. So this is how it feels. Heck, it sucks more than not being able to stroke a keyboard for three straight days. I had no intention of sleeping but my body was too bummed out to stay up late. As my head bounced on the cotton-soft pillow I heard the neighboring door open. She’s home. Now’s my chance to talk to her. I wanted to get up but after a few seconds the door closed again and heard her and a guy chattering. I didn’t bother getting up to see if my speculations were precise. I just tried to sleep.

Friday, 10:19 A.M.

I left the PhySci building after my Chemistry lab then scurried off inside a jeep to go on my way home. I haven’t seen Elaine then and I figured I wouldn’t be seeing her now that I will be leaving Laguna for the weekend. As the winds slapped my face around I began racing after my own thoughts. Elaine, oh how gorgeous is her lips, how elegant her long, black hair. Her hazelnut eyes that transcend through the course of my sanity, her smile a plethora of angels serenading me to oblivion. Her body, that-

“Hey, can you please give my fare to the driver?”

“Oh, sorry.”

“John?”

“Elaine?”

I stammered. For the first time in my life I felt clumsy with myself. I hurriedly reached my hand on my pocket to salvage some lost coins.

“Oh hi there! Uhh, don’t worry about you’re fare I’ll pay for you!”

“No, it’s ok I can help myself.”

“But I can’t just sit there and watch you suffer the lose of your significant peso I have to assume my gentlemanly responsibilities and…oh damn I forgot my wallet again.”

“So you have no means of paying for your fare?”

“Oh my..yes,” were all the words I can muster. By then, I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.

“Oh, is that right,” she giggled a heavenly giggle. “Don’t worry I’ll pay for you.”

“But-“

“I insist. If you want to you can just pay me back next week.”

“Ok,” I hesitantly replied. “Gee, thanks Elaine.”

“It’s fine actually. So, how’s life treating you?”

I wanted to answer it was so good to me because it gave me the chance to know you. Of course I didn’t tell that to her. But I found myself relaying her the things I am not used to telling other people. I also heard her stories, most of which were about her estranged love affair with 4 people.

“I still have my virginity intact don’t worry,” she joked, to which I reluctantly laughed at. “Of course, I feel lonely now that I am all alone with all the hurt ravaging me from the inside. It’s such a tribulation to live a life that has been trampled in all corners. Sometimes I question why am I still alive.”

At that brief moment, I experienced a sudden surge of courage, with a heaping dose of adrenaline and testosterone.

“Don’t say such things. If you come to think about it, the trials you have encountered are the very things that will make you stronger. You say that your life is trampled in all corners; I say you should get up and reestablish them again. It doesn’t matter if they get trampled again as long as you keep on rebuilding them. At first this may seem impossible but you will soon realize that it is so easy to do.”

Her brown eyes and angelic smile were focused solely towards me, signaling me to continue. “I one believed that good fortune is bestowed to only those who are destined to experience them. That not all people are fortunate enough to die with a smile upon their faces. Eventually, I learned that good fortune is not a gift that’s given to the righteous alone, it is one man’s salary, the fruits of his labor. One cannot enjoy the luxuries of life without toiling for them. The same with love. You cannot experience the true happiness of loving and being loved if you harbor ill feelings brought by the past.”

What I have said lifted me to new heights. My amazement with myself even increased further when I saw her smile wider than before. “That was very well said, John. Thank you.” Our talk was very much a goldmine for me that I didn’t notice we were already in Alabang. As I climbed on a bus I waved goodbye to Elaine. Along the ride I received a text message.

“John, thnx 4 evrythng. Our talk meant a lot to me. I just wnt 2 say tht *some text missing* "

I never received the other half of the message. That however, did not stop my lips from forming the widest smile I have ever made in my entire life.

2005 June, Wednesday 3:47 A.M.

Six months have passed since that faithful jeep incident. Since then, Elaine and I had gotten even closer that I have hoped. I find myself skipping my Barracks sessions just to spend sweet nothing with her. That mere fact made me conclude that I have truly fallen for her. Which is why sitting beside her on the dormitory bench for 3 full hours did not cause me any discomfort. She had her head bent on my shoulders, to which my heart replied with a series of boom booms. With that, I could no longer control my mouth.

“Elaine, the past months have been a blast. We have been together all this time and that made me so happy. I cannot remember anything that’s much more enjoyable than being with you all day long. What I’m trying to say is that Elaine, I-”

She was asleep. Darn, and I was about to confess my feelings for her. I nonchalantly carried her to her unit and peacefully laid her body in her satin sheets. Right then and there, she opened her eyes and whispered what I believe was the other half of the message she sent me six months ago.

“I am so happy to meet you John.”

Her body was now all that I wanted it to be: mine.

2005 September, Tuesday, 8:19 A.M.

We never had a commitment with each other because of Elaine’s trauma. It didn’t matter since we loved each other out of mutual understanding. What I did not understand was the disapproval of my friends who, upon hearing of my relationship with Elaine stormed my unit and told stories.

“Pare, this girl you’re dating, she’s no good. I’ve heard she once had three boyfriends simultaneously.”

“That’s nothing pare. You know this guy who owns a Vios? Well rumor has it that the guy and your girlfriend are meeting each other privately, if you know what I mean.”

“So pare, have you slept with her?”

“Ok guys, enough!” I was at the peak of my anger. “If you could not accept Elaine for what she is then I have no need of people who know nothing but ridiculous gossips of the one woman who I love and that you fantasize.”

“So that’s what you think of us? For all the concern we give you? For all the support? Then stay with your bitch girlfriend!”

I knew I was wrong. I wanted to apologize but this rude concoction of love and pride kept me from doing a thing.

2005 October, Monday, 9:19 P.M.

I was hurting from the harsh consequences of my concentrating on being with Elaine. Just this morning, I skipped my Physics class for the 8th time, which meant I would fail the subject. My 3rd failure this semester. I had all the reason to be absent as I was in the middle of my lovemaking with Elaine, although it didn’t occur to me that in our four months being together we hadn’t gone all the way. I cannot however discount the fact that her consistent moaning during our private times did satisfy me enough to reject the idea of any forms of intercourse. As I entered the dorm gates, the unthinkable happened- the words of my friends came back to haunt me. Of all people I should not be clobbered by these rumors. It was an eternity trying to close the gate, as I struggled to convince myself that Elaine is mine and she is a dignified lady, contrary to what I was hearing. I neared Elaine’s door then came to a halt. I heard the same moans that excited me when I was with her. The only different thing was that I was outside, she and someone else was inside. For some reason I glanced down, and saw a laminated driver’s license. The same cocky face that peered out of the Vios. The same guy my friends were talking about. The same guy that was fucking the living daylights out of the girl I loved more than everything else.

To make matters worse it’s not even curfew time.

2005 November, Monday, 8:00 A.M.

I conceded my slot in the esteemed university of Laguna due to my deteriorating grades, not to mention I have no more friends left. I was busy packing up my things when the dormitory radio blasted my ear with a contemporary hit:

“The closer I get to touching you,
The closer I get to loving you,
Give it time just a little more time..”

I quickly escaped the confines of the unit, trying to remain deaf to the lingering sound. I wanted to flash one more look at the dormitory I once regarded as my home but I did not, for fear of seeing her. I did not look back but I did see her. Engulfed within the arms of that very guy she has chosen over. I held my head low and went my way. Let’s not get any mushy now.
*****
*some text missing*Im so hapi to meet you. But now, I’m torn. Thre’s dis guy. I know u’ve met him. I harbor a strong feeling for him, but den u came along. I wnt to be sure dis time. I dnt wnt to hurt anymore. I hve 2 try.

ToDay

2006-09-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

Today I will let myself count the blessings I will receive from
the moment I wake up until I close my eyes again to rest;
Today I will resourcefully show to my peers that there is no shame
on knowing how to break down and throw a tantrum in front of many people;
Today I will write an account of what I have accomplished, from the early doses
of morning vitamins to the paradigms of the nightlife;
Today I will slap myself point blank for failing to hold my end of the bargain in
the attempt to establish sustainable development in our country;
Today I will shudder to think if wasting my time and money on purposeless
activites is more fulfilling than meditating and studying;
Today I will cross the line between liberal and conservative thiking and actually live
the way I speak my mind;
Today I will break boundaries and set my own standards;
Today I will consider the hardships of those who care for me and use them as
inspiration to improve my well-being;
Today I hope to stop lying and pray that there will be a tomorrow.

Lonely Day, by System of a Down..

2006-09-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Should be banned
This day that I can't stand
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
A day that Ill never miss
Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life
And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Life
Such a lonely day
And its mine

A day that I'm glad I survived..

..because even writers get sad sometimes

developmental engineering

2006-08-28T07:32:00.000-07:00

I am typing this little post with a heavy heart and a pair of equally heavy eyes. This has been a rough, unforgiving day; one that I dare not speak to myself again. For on this day, I receieved the result of my long assignment in Math 17(the greatest subject evah) and got a score of 38.5 out of 65, half a point below the passing grade. Such travesty, such tragedy. I will never, ever sleep peacefully again. Which is why I skipped doing my group's case study outline in Nasc5 so I can share to you all the great injustice that befell me.

You may now be wondering what the hell I'm doing in a Math 17 class when I'm so busy gloating on how profilific a writer I've been and that I have no time to mingle with numbers, or radicals or logarithms. To tell you honestly, I myself have no idea whatsoever. Back when I was filling up my UPCAT form, the only word I deliberately wrote was journalism. The rest were, in all writing glory, stream of conciousness. So there's no surprise that I was surprised when I was admitted in UPLB. But I was even more shocked with the course that accompanied the campus: CIVIL ENGINEERING DEMMET(I purposely wrote the 'demmet' beacuse that's how I want the course to be read; and when I become President of the country, I will permanently change the course's name into what I want it to be: a 'demmet' course). At first, I pushed through with it, anticipating the exciting(?) new challenges that await me. Little did I know the challenges that awaited me had 2x4s wrapped in barbed wire. After the petty, bloody, little beating I came to the realization that CED was not for me. And it sucked eggs. The problem now however, is the barbed wire coiled in the wooden planks that got a feel of what my body is like. Apparently its nasty barbs remained stuck in my heavenly skin, thus I have to take them off, lest they slide through my blood vessels and prick my heart.

So now, did that make any sense? Well, no. Then again, if only I had at least a little awareness back then, things would have been different. Way different.

isang awiting tayong dalawa lang ang nakakaalam

2006-07-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

***

the harshness of winter in a tropical country, meatball style

2006-07-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

T'was a stormy Wednesday evening.

After I politely barged in to our neighbor's unit demanding for an umbrella (and I got my demand, mind you), I braved the sundering rains and marched (read: hobble) across the muddy ground to the infamous Student Union Building. Apparently, the UPLB Writer's Club were to hold an orientation in there for potential applicants and I was among the neophytes invited for the occasion (thanks to a friend who reminded the org member who recruited me that I was interested in joining). I arrived at the rendesvouz 10 minutes before the appointed time so I took the liberty of buying myself some dinner (a luxury I sometimes forget to avail). I treated myself to a delicous meatball meal and finshed with a cheese waffle (the meatball meal cost php30 so I had room for dessert. Yay!). Still no sign of the org. The time was 7:05 and since I am not a fan of waiting without spending in a place crammed with stalls where I can waste money, I decided with a heavy heart (err, tummy) to exit the building an check out my housemates whoe were at an internet cafe playing their wallets out. Again, I braved the angry winds, scrubbing off the shards of dirt and mud clinging to my legs. I entered the usual PC shop we run into every other night and I was surprised to find no one in there (and by no one, I mean my housemates, as it occured to me that we are the only ones among the entire UPLB community who were playing there). Feeling tired, cold and wet in places that shouldn't be tired, cold and wet, I doubled back and went home, with the raging storm seemingly mocking me at the back. I arrived feeling dirty (literally) and after a quick trip at the showers I dropped down on my bed and slept. It was (a record breaking) 8:45pm.

The following day, I just learned that classes got suspended. Yay.

Secrets to Superb Sex(repost)

2006-06-30T18:55:00.000-07:00

NOTE: Remember what I noted in my post titled "Life's Lessons" that I will refrain from posting anymore "obcene" topics? Well guess what..

I lied.

So here it is, the highly controversial article in all its disgusting, immoral, kadiri-to-death glory.

enjoy.

*********

The Philippines.

The year is 2006. The 6th year of the 3rd millenium. An age of cutting-edge and highly innovative technology. An era of non-stereotypes, of unbound ideas, of fluctuating principles; a haven for the enthusiastic youth. And more importantly, a generation void of teenage virgins. Yes, pre-marital sex is the "in" thing nowadays. Everyone is doing it to be "cool" and to look "mature." So if you haven't done it, to paraphrase WWE superstar Carlito, you're "not cool." You're stuck in your hopeless childhood grinding your teeth in envy of your friends who already slept with someone for the nth time. Suddenly, you dump the noble, yet conservative principle of "sex can wait" just to enjoy the pleasure of sex and be among people you look up to for engaging in such act. You get desperate. Feeling the circulation of your hormones going berserk, you flash a meaningful look at the person you are with (who could be your bf/gf if you're fortunate enough). You stare at the same glance you receive from your partner. Then you find yourself in a trance. This is it. Your time is now. Still you are hesitant. What if you screw it up? What if your only chance to "get it on" vanishes into thin air? Or what if for some insane reason you feel this is not right? Ahh, this is where this article comes in, to erase all your doubts and fears, to be successful in bed, “to sex the right way”. If you feel you can't do this, if you are losing your confidence in the face of your partner who looks mighty fine by the way, then read on to unravel the SECRETS TO SUPERB SEX.

*cue villainous music here*

So you find yourself lying in bed with someone of the opposite sex(I hope) and since it's your first time you don't know what to do. As you look at the hazel brown eyes of your lover, keep in mind these simple steps to experience superb sex:

1. Know your role and do what you have to do as efficiently as you can. If you're a man and you have by chance, an "experienced" woman with you, still try to be dominant. Don't let her do all the work. Be in charge. If you're a woman in the midst of a first-timer man like yourself, then give yourself openly. If you feel like your man is lacking on something, then initiate it yourself so that your partner will realize what you want.

2. Don't force the situation. If neither of you does not feel that certain something, then let it be and hope that tomorrow night it will be different.

3. Know your partner's weak spots and go for it. This will result in a reflex that the both of you will enjoy all night(or day, or afternoon) long. And finally;

4. The most important step of all, before doing "it" think for a while. Ponder on what you are about to do. If you are a man, think of what your girlfriend will become after your "session" and you have gone your separate ways. So you don't believe in morality and religion but at least have a compassionate and understanding perspective of your partner. If you are a woman, think of what you're putting yourself into, if you are going to regret the end result of your actions. Yeah sure, you only did it for love but are you sure your partner loves you at all? Find your peace, have a discussion with your bf/gf and weigh the pros and cons. Then if you get married do steps 1-3 as intense as you can.

Yes, sex is one exciting roller coaster ride. The experience is truly exhilarating and one that you may want to do over and over again. But, at the age that we are in, sex is something that we have to wait for until we are old enough to settle down. Because outside marriage, sex is a nightmare that will haunt you in your sleep, even when you get married and until you die. But when in the confines of holy matrimony, sex is a gift, a utopia, a paradise of love that you can share with your partner alone. And that's one of the greatest blessing endowed on us in marriage. So, if you feel left out for not doing "it," then rejoice. At least after the wedding, steps 1-3 can be done with more regularity and less fear, if you and your partner want it.

*cue any of enya's songs here*

[blank]

2006-06-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

Just a thought:

The reason loneliness hurts is because it doesn't.

pfftt..

a smile worth a double platinum record

2006-06-25T00:16:00.000-07:00

Intro:

I switched on the TV and immediately changed the channel to Myx in hopes of viewing the first ever Myx Music awards (mainly because of the Parokya ni Edgar-Kamikazee collaboration). What caught my sight however was the Cebuano mush band Cueshe accepting their 3rd award of the evening. Well, I have no grudge against Cueshe and their comrade bands as I myself am an afficionado of uber sad love songs. What made me irate was the fact that the essence of music has been castrated by the very people who make and listen to them as Cueshe delivered their words of thank you and everything else. It is difficult to understand why a talented and experienced band like Bamboo did not win the favorite artist award or why the lyrical expertise of Ogie Alcasid did not merit more than 5% votes. Before I gave in to the night I wondered over this travesty until it dawned to me: hey, the winners were determined via text votes. Goodness. This only made me wonder even more. What is the root of this blatant persecution of music, or to be specific, OPM? The problem certainly was not evident back in the early ages of modern music in our country. In their heyday, acts like VST and company, Sharon Cuneta, Maestro Ryan Cayabyab, Juan de la Cruz Band, Freddie Aguilar and many others gave birth to Original Pilipino Music, paving the way for the rise of today's musicians. In the 90's, Regine Velasquez, Lani Misalucha, Kuh Ledesma, ZsaZsa Padilla and Jaya captivated the masses with a devastating combo that ignited the meteoric rise of the world's greatest musicians: catchy tunes and goddess voices. Francis Magalona introduced the rap and hip-hop scene in a nationalistic and entertaining manner. Eraserheads dominated this decade with their amped up music and quite possibly the most influential lyrics in Philippine band history. Even with the E'heads' immense popularity, more talented bands like Rivermaya, South Border and PnE surfaced to continually strengthen OPM. Fast forward to the present. With the new, technologically-enhanced media affecting the airwaves, the regard for quality music has hit an all-time low. The people passed from the talented yet less attractive rockers and embraced bedimpled youngsters in combo struggling hard to hide their inner-Jeremiah.* The hip-hop nation seemed to follow suit to US urbanities by staining their material with vulgarities and ignoring FrancisM's original message. Songstresses and male belters did make their past predecessors proud but the issue of physical apperance did no justice to this problem. Could it be that the great Filipino has lost the musician in him, in favor of eye candy and dare I say, sex? Is the true appreciation of OPM lost forever? As the Myx awards drew to a close, I got to see the anticipated PnE-Kamikazee act and loved it. My only disappointment was the live audience did not seem to share my appreciation for the explosive performance. Let my introduction end by quoting the final lines of "The Ordertaker:"

"T*****g carinderia wala man lang pangmerienda!"

2b continued....

*-a once famous boyband in the 'pines composed of cute guys.

innocence redefined

2006-06-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

Lexicon Webster’s defines innocence as the state of being “free from guilt, knowing nothing of evil, naïve or simple-minded, harmless, benign and in a rhetorical sense, devoid.” Such a positive description for a word, which, in the same context as love & hate, connotes several meanings, results in fixing the perception of the majority on innocence as anything but bad. When a young child shatters an expensive jar he doesn’t receive the same punishment a mature child gets for breaking the same jar, since the young child after all doesn’t know what he is doing compared to the mature one. This type of innocence is naïveté. On the other hand conventional innocence speaks of a person proven to be not guilty in a trial accusing him of murder. Through these examples, one can infer that innocence saves you from punishment, criticism and to an extremity, condemnation. This kind of belief is known as the “Pontius Pilate mentality,” derived from the New Testament politician who sentenced Jesus Christ to death. In the Bible, Pilate believed that Christ did no wrong as opposed to the high priests who accused him of blasphemy. Still, in fear of the crowd, Pilate “unwillingly” condemned Jesus, and then washed his hands so as to say to everyone including God that he was not responsible for Jesus’ death. However, after Christ rose from the dead and has sent the apostles to all ends of the world, Pontius Pilate became known all over as the one who put Jesus to death.
What then, does this say about innocence? In this age when the truth can easily be manipulated with a snap of a finger, the last thing you may want to happen is to have yourself proven guilty for a crime you did not (or did) commit. Because of this, people tend to abuse their innocence in more ways than one. You bear witness to secretive drug dealing between two students in your school, but for fear of being involved or for no reason at all, you kept silent thinking that there’s no wrong in being quiet about it; as the weeks ensued, the school found out that half of your classmates have been doing drugs so ALL of them were expelled. You cheated on your mathematics examination yet it was your seatmate (who was the unwary victim of your cheating) who was punished by the faculty; still you persisted you had nothing to do with it so your seatmate was suspended. It was New Year’s Eve and you lit up your fireworks then threw them at a dark corner so as to welcome the new year; when the fireworks exploded everyone heard a scream as an old man got his limbs amputated due to the explosions, still you claim you did no wrong as you did not know there was a person walking on that corner. Yes, these scenes are downright ugly and further abuse of innocence can do things worse than the cited examples. While both wrong naïveté and deception of the “guiltless” can cause serious damage, it is the other kind that’s the most dangerous. This kind of innocence is known the world over as indifference- the feeling of nothing, the sin Pilate committed. If there is something God hates more than committing sin, it’s refusing to do good acts. Had you told the teachers about the drug dealing, then your classmates would have been spared from the expulsion and the effects of drugs. Had you called the police when you saw your neighbor beating up his wife, she wouldn’t have been killed. The danger of being indifferent and “innocent” is that one person is bound to suffer; in the same way the complainant grieves as the suspect is found “not guilty.”
I’m not saying however that innocence leads to evil, as it is up to the person on how he uses it. It is of vital importance therefore that one should not remain indifferent to the needs of others. After all, one man’s innocence is another man’s casualty.

flick flops(pilot episowd)

2006-06-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

*In an effort to add flavor to my blog, I have decided to take it up a notch and try concocting some nifty movie reviews for your reading pleasure. This, however is on a trial basis only so you may want to comment if you want me to review more movies,songs, albums etc. Hope you enjoy!*

X-ing out X-men
What exactly is wrong with X-men 3?

Wiping the rotund beads of perspiration off my forehead, I enthusiastically enterMcDo Carpark in all its cool ambiance. I was summoned by a friend to the rendezvous, with the only thing in my mind was to put into action my high-profile plans on how to penetrate the heavily-guarded Frozen Throne. Eventually after my plans horribly failed(due to a sudden collapse in my monetary fund), I ended up in a seat inside one of SM's movie theaters and watch X-men 3: The Last Stand, so might as well enjoy the flick- with or without my once plump wallet.

So, was the final installment of the famed trilogy worth my while?

Uhh, let's go to the whole nook and cranny first(a tough question such as this requires a lot of analysis and discussion you know).

First of all, take a look on where we left off.

Professor Charles Xavier and friends just survived being swallowed by raging waters thanks to Jean Grey's sacrifice. Afterwards, they proceed to the White House for a little chat with the president regarding mutant acceptance(of all issues to tackle). After a few months, the mutant acceptance is all but cemented in the US society with Hank McCoy aka the Beast landing a place in the Department of Mutant Affairs(like duh). Things start to get tasty when the depatment informs Beast that a "cure" for all mutants has been discovered, in the form of a young boy with the ability to rub off all abilities of any mutant who got near him. Trouble arises when the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants(lead by the distinctively dressed Magneto) heard of the cure and decided to kill the boy. What's worse is that Jean Grey, who was found alive at the expense of her lover Scott Summers(SPOILER WARNING!SPOILER WARNING!) developed a second personality intent on destroying everyone who opposes her. With the guys back in Prof X's academy believing that their mutant state is no "disease"(except for one..hint hint), the fate of both mankind and mutantkind now lies in the hands of Logan aka Wolverine and friends against an old enemy and a new yet quite surprising adversary.

Though I only watched the ending of the first two X-men flicks, getting a feel in the story of this one is fairly easy(this could either be a compliment or not) as the ensuing scenes are conspiciously predictable; after all this is a superhero movie. The big flaw however, is the conflict of the storyline and the characters. With too many names having a choke hold on the plot, several characters were "killed" to make room for the new story. Take Mystique for example. The shapeshifting mutant played a significant role in X-men 2, so I figured she will have an equally important impact in "The Last Stand." Unfortunately, she was permanently removed from the storyline shortly after the movie began. The inclusion of new characters, most notably Angel, did not do any justice to this character catastrpohe. In fact, they really did not make any impact the same way Mystique made in X2. The biggest plot problem was Prof X's role , which was drastically cut off(oh no, no more spoilers). The founder of the X-men should've had a longer role than what he had in the flick, eventhough I knew that he'll die anyway in this one(no need for spoilers on something so predictable). AT least he should've been given a much meaningful death(more hints).

"The Last Stand" did score high in special effects. The costumes and mutant appearances are as cool as I can remember(check out Colossus). The fight scenes are also a must-see, eventhough there were not much in the flick. (There's also a scene after the ending credits, which may give us the idea of quite possibly a part four)

While the eye candy was present, X-men 3 failed considerably in the storytelling department thanks to role cutoffs and predictable plots. In fairness to part 3 however, this one is definitely better than parts 1 and 2(since 3 is the only movie among the three that I got to see form start to finish).

So, let's go back to the question we have't answered yet.

Was X-men 3 worth my while?

hmmm..

Let's just say that I didn't have to implement my high-profile plans on how to penetrate the heavily-guarded Frozen Throne just to watch it fail again and again for two hour's time.

life's lessons

2006-05-31T02:21:00.000-07:00

SO THAT THE PUBLIC MAY KNOW:
I sincerely apologize for to those who found my recent topic offensive and atrocious. I have deleted the said post and will no longer post anything of the same topic. Again, I am vey sorry.

Walking has always been my all-time favorite pastime. Out with basketball, computer games and the what not, I'll gladly pass from these activities so I can have more time devoted to walking. It is through walking that I find my peace; you can say that it's my own form of meditation. You can also say it's my own, mediocre way of igniting the circulation of neurons in my cerebral cortex which in turn results to a drastic upheaval of the imagination, causing a ripple in the curve of reality.

In other words, my mere walking alters the very fabric of this world and all who inhabit it.

Don't believe me?

After a minute of walking back and forth coupled with unnecessary curves and turns, those who get to see me will stop with what they are doing and proceed to take notice to my weird behavior. Then after a few seconds of stunnage they'll go back to their business.

After 5 minutes or so the same people who saw me earlier once again catches me up to my old antics again. Realizing that I didn't stop to walk at all, these people will ask me what the darn hell I'm doing with my precious time lollygagging back and forth. I will just flash my nearest impression of an Aga Mulach smile and walk away.

After 1 hour, these people go back to see me still walking back and forth. They pratically lose it after that encounter.

After 3 days of walking a small crowd starts to build up, wondering why I haven't stopped walking.

After a week, the crowd had gone bigger and televison cameras are recording every step I take in my seemingly unending activity.

After 2 months international TV stations flocked in to the Philippines just to televise my walking.

After 6 months beings from outer space landed their UFOs, analyzing the highly attractive individual moving his feet front and back, front and back.
(Soon thereafter, the crowd grew tired and retired to their homes[and planets], starting with the disappointed tv crews)

After everyone had left, I went home, prop in my chair, plug in the computer and began to type thie little thing I call my masterpiece.

Now do you believe me?

If not, then what if you try it yourself?

Try to do something that gives you relaxation and peace and a sudden rush of ideas. Then do it as long as you can.

Then tell if you still do not believe.

stream of conciousness..

2006-04-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

due to public demand(namely benzon and francis..hehe), magpppost nako.

isang stream of conciousness na lathala..

time was something..
a spinster of wonders..
a tapestry embroidered with misery and liveliness..
of joy and sorrow..
climbing the mountains straightfowardly..
lasting with no further explanation..
comming around..
feeling myself..
losing conciousness..
relishing the moment..
left with no one to blame..
for this time..
it's over..
it's all over..

repost!!

2006-04-06T00:34:00.000-07:00

mula sa aking inaamag na archives:

Usapang Banyo

Question:Ano ang pinakaimportanteng room sa bahay?sala?me mga bahay na walang sala eh..kung meron man,yung sala na rin eh nagiging silid-tulugan,etc..bedroom?pwede ka nman maulog kahit saan dba?kitchen?kung gutom ka,pwede ka nmang kumain ng instant noodles..so..siret na kayo kung ano ang pinakaimportanteng room sa bahay?anu pa ba edi ang cr o banyo!!!bakit??isipin nio..kung walang banyo,san kayo iihi, tat*e at maliligo?sa sala?sa bedroom?sa kitchen?actually,hindi lang sa bahay importante ang banyo..kahit saan..sa isang malaking kumpanya,masasabi natin na ang banyo ay mas importante pa kesa sa conference room..pano ko nasabi yon?isipin nio ule..halos lahat ng mga conference room may cr o may malapit na cr..ang cr ba mayoon o may malapit na conference room?wala!!mangyayari lang yun pag nasa isang kumpanya lang..getzz??so,ano ang gusto kong palabasin sa banyo??ang bayo kasi ang pinakamissunderstood na lugar sa buong mundo..di masyadong nabibigyang pansin ang banyo..makinig kayo na balita..nakikita natin sa TV ang white house..ang WTC..ang Malacanyang..yung mga banyo??siguro minsan pero di lagi..pero kung iisipin nio..ang pinakamagandang bahay o ang pinakamataas na building o ang pinakamagarang mansyon ay walang kwenta kung walang banyo..imagine..nasa napakalaking mansyon ka..ang laki ng space..ang daming mamahaling kagamitan..pero wala namang banyo..eh nagkataong puputok na yang oantog mo..anong gagawin mo?sa mga oras nayun,iisipin mo na ang pinakamalaking bahay o ang pinakamamahaling kagamitan ay hindi importante kung magkakasakit ka naman sa bato..speaking of sakit..anung kwarto ang pwedeng makapigil sa mga sakit?banyo lang wala ng iba!!pagnaligo ka,ligtas ka sa germs..pagnaglalabas ka ng sama ng loob ligtas ka sa constipation..at pagumihi ka,ligtas ka sa UTI..kaya ba yang gawin ng ibang kwarto sa bahay??HINDI!!!!!!maihahalintulad natin ang mga iba't-ibang kwarto ng bahay sa buhay..me mga tao(yung ibang kwarto) na pinagmamayabang ang kanilang mga physical appearance pero limitado naman ang kanilang mga nagagawa..me mga tao(yung banyo) naman na humble dahil wala maxadong taglay na kagwapuhan o kagandahan pero napakasipag naman at maablidad sa buhay..pag nakatagpo sila ng isang sitwasyon na parang di nila makakaya,gumagawa sila ng paraan para malusutan iyon..maikukumpara din natin ang mga banyo sa mga taong wala namang angking kagwapuhan o kagandahan o mga abilidad na katangitangi na totoo kung umibig..kumpara sa ibang lalake o babae..ung mga taong "banyo" ay mas totoo yung nararamdaman kesa sa mga taong ngpapakyut lang..oo nga't gwapo sila at maabilidad pero infatuation lang ang nararamdaman nila..bottomline:hindi natin dapat binabaliwala ang mga taong "banyo"..sa katunayan nga dapat natin silang gayahin..di kasi sila arogante at tahimik kung magtrabaho..totoo rin sila kung magmahal..sila yung mga taong di maxado pinapansin ng iba dahil di nila pinagmamayabang ang kanilang mga accomplishments..kaya ngayon..magisip ka..suriin mo ang iyong sarili..isa ka bang "banyo" o nangangamoy banyo ka lang?

Isang Nobela

2005-12-24T20:51:00.000-08:00

The Appraiser

“Gazing upon the stars never really felt this heavy. As far as I can remember, those sparkling lights from up above have given me enough comfort to fill my pillowcase. But I can’t help but feel this way as I fixed my vision on the hypnotic Polaris. In my mind is an unquenchable desire to defy the odds, to be the very best. To capture the only trophy that has eluded me all these years. For the past 20 years I have assembled the best bunch of individuals, the hardiest boys I have met and they brought me more glory than I could ever endow on myself. As the years went by, the medals and accolades just kept on coming. As I stared at the Great Square, the vision of one final undertaking flashed into my mind. It’s decision-making time once again. I continually asked myself. Just before I could come up with the answer, I saw the expansions of clouds transforming the bespectacled night into literally a shadow of its former self.”

Vance Jerome Trias is, was, and always will be a man of constraint. He knew he was the perfect man for any job. For him, efficiency is best demonstrated with an iron hand and there is no other way to exhibit such flawlessness. With a legacy that rivaled that of Cone, Jaworski, and even Dalupan, Trias was convinced that there was no one better. He believed he was the epitome of unwavering dominance, the Everest of the hard court, the wizard among the lesser magicians. To him, there was only one way- his way.
Trias was not only born for success, he was built for it. A sturdy, 50 year old with the body of a true athlete. He always wore a coat and tie despite the tropical sundering he encountered on a daily basis. In him the word conspicuous could have been given a new definition. His face on the other hand showed a null expression, revealing the strong, domineering look his peers were accustomed to see, usually with fear. The way he radiated his presence was as intimidating as his facial expression. In all his games he was never seen sitting down. He always had his arms crossed, his eyes piercing through a blank wall. His whitening hair always stood still, despite the tension and excitement, two words, which do not exist in Trias’ vocabulary. In all his victories and defeats he never fluctuated. After the customary handshake with the opposing coach, Trias will go straight to the locker room, have a short discussion with his team, “express” his disappointment then leave. The way he walked makes one feel that he was never a part of a thrilling match. He walked in a straight line, no unnecessary movements, no curves. He never believed in circles, he knew everything has its own sides. To young children, he was dubbed as a walking telephone pole. To sports critics and broadcasters however, he was dubbed as “the One.” A fitting moniker to say the least.
The UP Fighting Maroons were a popular team in the UAAP, yet they were known not because of their record-breaking streaks of championships. On the contrary, they were known for being one of the cellar dwellers of the prestigious league. For years, the Maroons have been one of the league’s laughing stocks, with people here and there throwing at them jeers and insults of every kind. ‘The best university in the country had no place in the realm of sports’ was the banner of these criticisms. There were indeed flashes of brilliance but their detractors thought of them only as mere flukes. The glory of the Oblation constantly incurred cuts and bruises as the Maroons took on the court and give their all. In their noble struggle to salvage some respect, all they had to show are more loses and less wins. As the entire scholars’ community witnessed dejection of their schoolmates, the upper echelons of the university have come up to the sad conclusion: it’s now time for the great Oblation to let go of the basketball. The shining beacon of Philippine college education must now leave its waterloo. Or face more humiliations.
Jasmine Emerald Cortez is a regular junior who enjoys a well-fought grudge match more than a lopsided, dominating performance. Her physical beauty disguised in dirty jeans, faded Chucks and size XL shirts, Jasmine, or Jec as she wanted to be called, reveled in the passionate sport that is basketball. She was not one who had to go to the rest room every other minute, but she was one who would goad her hefty, 5’11” block mate to engage in a one on one shootout complete with the physicalities. While ladies her age had mascaras upon their eyes, Jec had bandages upon them. Her unusual behavior raised eyebrows everywhere she went, even in her own home. Yet she never gave any care on what the world has to say. The moment her brother, senior varsity member Trevor Munich introduced her to the game, Jec literally fell in love. As she stumbled hard to grab a lose ball, Jec immediately realized the intense dedication his brother and those who play the game have for the sport. With that, Jec felt the pain of her brother and his teammates in their agony. The injuries, the sacrifices were indeed honorable but the rewards they reaped were to little compared to what they have sown. Each time she saw Trevor’s anguish on his sprained ankle, Jec would just break down, revealing the daint, fragile damsel perfectly hidden by the bandages. Then, after hearing the board’s proposal to withdraw from the UAAP, the pain inside Jec worsened. Deep within her just wanted to explode. What’s the worth of the players’ hard work if the basketball team will no longer compete? She didn’t know what to expect.
“So, what will I be getting for my services?”
Jec’s eyes widened in disbelief. It was a rather weird afternoon for her. Normally, she was with her closest acquaintances enjoying a good snack at KFC in Katipunan. This time however, she was all alone, sipping her regular Pepsi. The way she looked was rather odd. She wore a formal dress and a long skirt, displaying her hidden elegance. Her face was completely different as well. The bandages were gone and her cheeks are all puffed up with make-up. On her table is a folder is a pile of papers. In her appearance, the brand “scholar” seemed to emanate from her presence. An aura that caught the eye of the other customers. Which made her feel uncomfortable, as if she wasn’t already bugged by her new get-up.
“Good afternoon sir, welcome to KFC!”Jec heaved a sigh of relief as she saw a sinewy figure enter the confines of the restaurant. Eyes quickly turned to the man in the black coat and tie coupled with glares of amazement and amusement. Jec herself can’t help but giggle in the sight of an overly formal individual. Her laughter however came to an abrupt end as she saw the burly six-footer standing in front of her.

(to be continued)

mula sa prengster..

2005-12-19T16:20:00.000-08:00

para sa'yo(abridged)

sa loob ng isang segundo marami ang pwedeng mangyari..sa loob ng pitong buwan isang buhay ang pinanganak..isang samahang di kailanman matitibag ng martilyo ng pagbabago..sa loob ng pitong buwan isang istorya ng pagibig ang nasimulan..at ngayo'y nalalapit ng matapos..hangga't ang mga tauhan sa naturing kwento ay di magkikibuan..kailan lang nang nabuksan ang isang aklat na halos lamunin na ng alikabok..ilang pagbuklat lang ng pahina at muli itong nabigyan ng buhay..napagmasdan ng mga nagbabasa ang isang napakagandang relasyon ng dalawang magkaibang nilalang na animo'y pinagtagpo ng tadhana..pero, katulad nga ng sabi-sabi, ang oras ay mabilis lumipas kapag tayo'y nagsasaya..dagling natapos ng walang mariing babala ang ligayang nakasanayan na ng mga bumabasa..isang pahina na ang napunit at napansin ang pagtanda ng aklat na dala ng kumot ng alikabok..ngayon, nanganganib nang mamatay ang istoryang lubos na kinagiliwan..isang pagiibigang aking nakita at napakinggan..dalawang taong labis na napaglaruan..pinakitaan ng mga larawang kailanman ay di nila maiintindihan..nasabihan ng mga katagang napakalalim para sa kanila..dalawang taong nabiktima ng masalimuhot na pakikialam ng tadhana..
paano nga ba nagsimula ang lahat?sa isang selebrasyong pumukaw sa ispian ng marami..at sa selebrasyong ito, isang rebelasyon ang aking nasaksihan..lubos na ligaya..walang makakapantay sa sayang dulot ng isang dilag na hindi ko inaasahang pagbubuntungan ko ng naguumapoy kong damdamin..simula noon, ang kapalaran ng dalawang tao ay naselyuhan na ng dalawang tali sa kanang paa..mula doon isang sumpa ang nabuo..na sa kabila ng lahat hindi mawawala ang isa't-isa..pero hindi ginusto ng tadhana ang mga pangyayari..at mabilisan nitong pinutol ang tali..walang nakakalam ng tunay na dahilan..kaming dalawa, pareho naming hindi naiintindihan..gulung-gulo ang mga isipan..hindi malaman ang susunod na hakbang..ang pagkakaibigang inaasam ay kailanman di na magkakatotoo..dahil lamang sa tadhana..

"putulin man ang tali ay sadyang walang kawala.."
-Spongecola, Una

alt+tab+delete

2005-12-10T04:26:00.000-08:00

sa buhay ng tao, makakaranas siya ng ligaya at sakit sa pagtahak niya sa kalye ng kapalaran..sa kaniyang paglalakad, maaari siyang madapa, masugatan, at mapilayan at di makakagalaw..maaari din siyang makakita ng mga tao o bagay na magpapasaya sa kaniya at magpapalakas sa kaniyang loob upang ipagpatuloy ang paglalakbay sa kabila ng mga galos sa katawan..pero, maraming pagkakataon na ang mga nakikita mong nagpapaligaya sa iyo ay naging sanhi ng mas nakakalungkot na pangyayari na pwedeng magpahina ng loob mo..paano?dahil ang kaligayahang ito ay pinapalaki ang butas na nananalaytay sa puso mo..
amff..kakatamad..

give me the courage to wait..for I am losing it every second that you are not at my side..

postpost

2005-12-09T18:23:00.000-08:00

tinatamad akong magpost.....Ü

sa mga nagbabasa pa ng blog ko..

2005-11-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

patayin nio na ko..huhu..

mula sa blog ni francis..pampatanggal ng amag..pampalubag loob..

2005-11-25T23:08:00.000-08:00

1. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love2. Reminiscing the good times you shared together3. Shielding your heart to love somebody4. Trying to hide what you really feel5. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes6. Loving a person too much7. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up8. Having the right love at the wrong time9. Taking the risk to fall in love again10. Hiding your relationship from someone else11. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend12. Thinking of him/her every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he/she never even thinks a single thought of you...13. Letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper14. Holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out15. Falling in love with someone you didn't mean to fall in love with16. Finding the perfect guy/girl...with only one problem--- he/she doesn't love you...the way you want him/her to...17. Helping the one you love "court" your friend / helping your friend "court" the one you love18. Seeing the one you love crying for someone else19. Waiting also hurts like hell20. Having to hear "... I've met someone"21. Agreeing to his/her wish to 'just be friends'.22. Asking his/her freedom back bcoz 'he'd/she'd be happier with him/her'23. Asking you to 'forget that everything happened' and be 'normal' friends again.24. Hearing that you're treated as a little bro/sis (ouch!)25. Sharing his/her future plans for the guy/girl with you.26. You stopped being friends bcoz his gf/her bf asked him/her to.27. Being denied in front of people.28. Telling you lies where he'd/she'd been when actually, he/she was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame' (whew!)29. He/she told you he'd/she'd be leaving you to return to his/her ex? the one he/she left for you!30. Breaking someone's heart31 .Fighting for that one thing that would make you happy that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/she fix himself/herself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he/she says, time will tell... ang labo lang niya...but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her32. Pretending you're OK when inside you're dying...33. Pretending to be strong.... and recognizing your weakness34. Lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have...35. Being with someone you can't actually love...36. Pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...37. Being in love...38. Letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are hurting because it was your decision39. Seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...40. Having the courage to say "I LOVE YOU" to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he/she doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before41. Having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable42. Admitting that you love someone despite his/her imperfections43. Finding out that the more you try to hate him/her, the more you end up loving him/her, perhaps even more than before44. Realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.45. The thought that this guy/girl, used to really love you and you loved him/her as well but you didn't give enough and he/she gave up on you46. Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else....."47. Making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered....the commitment is no longer there...48. Violating your parents' rules for that someone that you love.49. Leaving your long-time friends because the one you love cannot accept them.50. The hardest thing about love - believing it exists.

2 8 15 16 21 32

hmm..

2005-10-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

feel me with your indifference..
if this is not dramatic pinch me..
tease me with your smile..
let me know if you are satisfied..
if you are done hurting me..
tell me now..
tell me now..
before you kill me..
before you leave me dead..

*time flies..when you throw it out of the window..*

hmm..

2005-09-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

just a realization:

angels are meant to be free..because if held in captivity, they lose their divinity..

now I know..

now I know why you're far away..

now I know why you distance yourself from me..

now I know that despite all the crap I did, you still don't look back..

yeah..

I am in love..

in love with a mere painting..

an inanimate object that ignores your admiration..

pitiful.